ᐅ Dissatisfied with new construction due to other options now available
Created on: 27 Sep 2021 12:51
C
Crossy
I was just about to create a second account for this thread, but in the end, I decided against it. I’m not even sure if this thread belongs in the financing section. The purpose of this thread is not to show off; I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, and my dissatisfaction is growing. Maybe some of you have had similar experiences, and I would be interested to know what you did.
I’m unhappy with our house. Not because it has any serious defects. It suits our current life situation, we have enough space, and next spring the garden will finally be finished and look great. Like many others, during the planning and construction phase, we set priorities because of our budget and gave up on some nice extras. Now, nearly 2 years after the financing was completed, our financial situation has changed significantly.
When we arranged the financing, I was just returning to work after my second parental leave, filling in as a temporary replacement during another parental leave. I knew the job was poorly paid (considering the required qualifications), but the overall package worked well, and I was confident I could manage it alongside the children. I always believed I would earn more in the long term and that this was only a transition back to work. Nevertheless, we based our financing on our income at the time because the financial future, even with good prospects, was uncertain. Therefore, we chose a more conservative approach and did not rely on future salary increases or push our budget to the limit.
Now, almost 2 years later, our financial situation looks completely different. I’m still with the same company but no longer in a temporary replacement role—I’m now a department head, and I have increased my working hours to fulfill this leadership position. Meanwhile, my husband has changed employers and was promoted. All in all, our combined income is about $4,000 more per month. And now I am annoyed by all the little things in the house that, in hindsight, wouldn’t have been a problem for us. With an additional $100,000–150,000, our house would be my dream home.
Many things cannot be retrofitted easily or without significant effort. I wish my dissatisfaction would fade over time so I could enjoy our very nice house and our financial freedom, but mentally I am thinking about selling and looking at plots nearby. My husband is bothered by a few things in the house as well but is generally more content and mainly wary of the hassle involved in building a new house.
I’m unhappy with our house. Not because it has any serious defects. It suits our current life situation, we have enough space, and next spring the garden will finally be finished and look great. Like many others, during the planning and construction phase, we set priorities because of our budget and gave up on some nice extras. Now, nearly 2 years after the financing was completed, our financial situation has changed significantly.
When we arranged the financing, I was just returning to work after my second parental leave, filling in as a temporary replacement during another parental leave. I knew the job was poorly paid (considering the required qualifications), but the overall package worked well, and I was confident I could manage it alongside the children. I always believed I would earn more in the long term and that this was only a transition back to work. Nevertheless, we based our financing on our income at the time because the financial future, even with good prospects, was uncertain. Therefore, we chose a more conservative approach and did not rely on future salary increases or push our budget to the limit.
Now, almost 2 years later, our financial situation looks completely different. I’m still with the same company but no longer in a temporary replacement role—I’m now a department head, and I have increased my working hours to fulfill this leadership position. Meanwhile, my husband has changed employers and was promoted. All in all, our combined income is about $4,000 more per month. And now I am annoyed by all the little things in the house that, in hindsight, wouldn’t have been a problem for us. With an additional $100,000–150,000, our house would be my dream home.
Many things cannot be retrofitted easily or without significant effort. I wish my dissatisfaction would fade over time so I could enjoy our very nice house and our financial freedom, but mentally I am thinking about selling and looking at plots nearby. My husband is bothered by a few things in the house as well but is generally more content and mainly wary of the hassle involved in building a new house.
Crossy schrieb:
The goal itself was already defined 3–4 years ago. Nothing has changed since then.If you want to hear that your wish is understandable and not crazy: sure, gladly. I don’t want to discourage you or think you’re crazy, nor do I want to confirm that it took guts not to bring up this topic here under a secondary account. However, I would recommend not planning a new build just yet. A good time, in my opinion, would be when your younger child moves on to secondary school. At that point, the house will be at a very attractive age for buyers looking for a “nearly new” home. Until then, keep it to small things like a nicer kitchen countertop or similar upgrades. In your mid-forties, you’ll still be young enough to enjoy the corner windows if they’re still important to you then. Until that time, make a list every year with the desired features for the next house, and only open the envelope again after you have written the next year’s list. Then put both back into an envelope, and so on. I’m curious to see what lasting items will remain on the list when we plan the house here in 2026 for moving in 2028. If the new plot allows, a children’s wing like @hampshire has could come into play, and/or a Mum’s extension like @KingSong — all about “panta rei” and so on 🙂https://www.instagram.com/11antgmxde/
https://www.linkedin.com/company/bauen-jetzt/
guckuck2 schrieb:
Once children are out of the toddler and early childhood stage, definitely. It doesn’t mean there are no more problems, but the personal dependency of the children—and thus the restrictions on the parents—noticeably decreases. At least, that’s my experience. This moment felt really good for us (at the same time, we decided that this topic was settled for us). We notice the same at our place. The child comes home from school and aftercare, then disappears outside to be with friends.
Weekends are similar. Friends are knocking on the door at 10 a.m. (10 o’clock), and you’re lucky if you catch a glimpse of your child in between before dinner at 6:30 p.m. (6:30 in the evening). On the other hand, sometimes you have five or six kids running from door to door.
You no longer need to keep the child occupied as intensively as during the baby and toddler stages.
As a result, parents’ free time increases significantly.
By the way, I think Crossy’s experience is similar to what happens with a new car. The first scratch really hurts, and you keep looking at it every time. Others might see a beautiful kitchen, but Crossy sees the missing "aircraft carrier." After a few years, you get used to it.
haydee schrieb:
I’ll put it this way: "Easy come, easy go" happens to a lot of people when they suddenly have a lot of money. Nothing seems good enough anymore; nothing seems impossible anymore. I went through that phase in my early 20s. Even as a single person, you can earn a five-figure income per month before much is left over.
I realized it doesn’t bring happiness or satisfaction—if anything, it’s the opposite. I didn’t recognize myself anymore. So what now?
It means nothing to me anymore. No sports Mercedes, no, it’s a Golf Variant now; no designer clothes, nothing.
What I want to say is that inner peace doesn’t come from consuming luxury goods.
What you said about your children is really unfortunate. There probably is something to the difference between village and city life. My sister was surprised by how things work here.
Make an effort to stay in contact. Keep it up. Try inviting the children your kids play with over. Leave a note with your phone number in the wardrobe of the respective child. I did that too. Even I don’t know all the parents around here anymore, and yes, the pandemic hasn’t made it any easier. What I can recommend for both children and parents is the volunteer fire department. Our 9-year-old daughter has been involved for 3 months now and is absolutely thrilled...
Pinkiponk schrieb:
"Larger windows or corner glazing, fireplace, air conditioning, dining room extended by 1m (3 feet) to rotate the kitchen island and design it as a 'carrier deck,' resulting in a different kitchen, possibly a small additional room, KNX instead of FaH, flush doors, and other small details. I think all of this would add up to around 100k.
The biggest cost would of course be the extension. Our house is actually large enough, but then there would be the opportunity to make the kitchen really great."
I don’t see any sign of showing off here. Many others have similar things. In my opinion, it’s perfectly fine to build the first house somewhat modestly and then, if the financial means allow, change or enlarge it again if it’s important to you.
My post might not fully fit the topic, but I just wanted to respond to the idea of "showing off." What does it mean that it’s not showing off? Of course, it is showing off or "unnecessary luxury." Nowadays, even a single-family house can be called showing off because only a few people can afford one nowadays. Then being dissatisfied with a house you own because it’s not luxurious enough is obviously showing off. No offense intended—I understand this too. Even though our net household income is only €6,300, I consider my family wealthy. I have experienced times as a student when I survived for months on instant pasta meals because I had no money. As income rises, so do desires and standards. For example, we no longer buy milk from discount stores but from a premium brand, just to give one example.
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