ᐅ Semi-detached house – Troubles with the neighbor

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tumaa schrieb:

I support a driving license requirement for parents who want to have children.

Hello tumaa

See, here’s something we both strongly agree on. Unfortunately, I have come across too many pregnant women who told me that their doctor advised them not to quit smoking during pregnancy to avoid withdrawal symptoms in the unborn child (true story, I witnessed it myself), or that a glass of wine won’t harm. I know a case of twins in my circle of acquaintances with severe disabilities. The hospital was sued (unsuccessfully). Both children have typical disabilities caused by nicotine exposure during pregnancy. The mother never smoked, but the father is a heavy smoker and of course smoked indoors. And so on, and so forth.

Most mothers (thankfully) care responsibly for their children. Unfortunately, too many (who doesn’t know them—the mother smoking in the car?) complain about child haters but end up damaging their children’s health.

Steven

My parents have neighbors with children on both sides.
On the left, the kids play in the garden. You can hear the playground equipment, laughter, talking, shouting, and water splashing. When the kids SCREAM, the parents intervene. Because there are people in the world you can and should be considerate of.
On the right, the kids also play. And they SCREAM more often, as if their country had just won the World Cup. But there is never any intervention. The parents are not rude; in fact, they are quite friendly, even seemingly nicer than those on the left. Still, they firmly believe that children MUST BE ALLOWED to behave like that in order to develop in a "natural" way.

The kids on the left make eye contact, say "please" and "thank you," and greet people. With those on the right, such behavior depends on their mood. Some of the left-side kids seem to understand that other people exist besides themselves, that you can acknowledge others and signal that awareness, and why that matters. The right-side kids do not—and because of this, they are actually less social than the others. Despite their "natural development" approach with the right to scream.

My parents say: "If the kids on the left were as inconsiderate as those on the right, we would have moved away."

From some comments in this thread, I detect a certain lack of consideration. Having children does not justify lowering the minimum level of respect for others.
But neighbors who have experienced such behavior might very well develop an instinct to move away. So what? I read here things like: You HAVE to give those parents a chance first.
A chance for what exactly? And why must you? A family loses nothing if someone moves out of their neighborhood.

Disclaimer: I don’t have children myself, but I have worked intensively for about 15 years caring for and training children and adolescents from the age of 6. I have met loads of parents during that time. I did it because I like children. Despite that, I would never want to live near about a quarter of them! And we’re not talking about "definitely rude" people in the sense of hillbillies or similar.

When exactly did this thread shift toward parenting, tolerance, intolerance of children, and medical aspects? As a mother of three children and many kids from the neighborhood who often came and went, I could write pages about this. There are all kinds of cases.

It all started with the question about the sound insulation of the new slab-on-grade. The original question was, "Is this correct, do we need to do more?" And how do we actually deal with the neighbor’s clearly disproportionate behavior?
That’s how I understood the original poster’s inquiry.
There is a lot that can be inferred from the neighbor’s behavior. Are all of his objections justified, or perhaps exaggerated or misguided in terms of what the neighbor intended with the described and absolutely unacceptable, more than unfriendly reaction?

chand1986 schrieb:

And we’re not talking about “Asis” in the sense of the Flodders.

Above me in the store, there’s a family of seven—I always call them the Flodders. All a bit unkempt, wearing brightly colored clothes, the woman stays at home, the man occasionally delivers newspapers. A total stereotype. But although the rowdy bunch is loud and very noticeable, I have to give the parents respect. The kids might not be perfect at greeting people, but when the parents whistle, they come running obediently. No pointless arguing or bickering, hardly any injuries or crying. They’re actually always cheerful.
So yes, they’re probably poor and not very well educated, but they’re not annoying—I actually feel happy when I see the colorful group. The parents are always right in the middle, managing the chaos with a light hand—better than some spoiled only children.

Hello
I wanted to share my thoughts.
Yesterday, we had more than just a discussion about this topic at home. But more on that later.

When we arrived at the construction site yesterday, my husband immediately went to ring the neighbor’s doorbell.
He kindly asked if he had a moment to talk.
The neighbor did have time.
My husband then confidently explained that he should not shout at us or the people working here. If he has concerns about soundproofing, he should communicate with us or the site manager. If there are any problems, it is a shared issue for both parties.
The neighbor was not aggressive and was willing to talk.

Then we looked at the situation together.
Our concrete slab is below his floor ceiling (he has a basement).
Above it, a sound insulation layer made of mineral wool (4cm (1.5 inches)) is installed.
We offered to hire an external soundproofing expert (I don’t know the exact title for this profession) to examine the issue thoroughly. We could share the cost.

That is exactly what he doesn’t want.

Now he should consider how we handle this whole situation.
The site manager will come tomorrow.

I’m curious how things will develop from here.
In the meantime, our children played with his Bull Terrier.

Great how things went yesterday. Maybe he just had a bad day.