ᐅ Semi-detached house – Troubles with the neighbor

Hello dear members,

I discovered your lovely forum thanks to Google. Unfortunately, as is often the case, a problem has brought me here.

We are building an extension onto an existing semi-detached house in Baden-Württemberg.
We are building on a slab foundation. The friendly neighbor built his half with a basement.
We live 70 kilometers (about 43 miles) away from the construction site.
Therefore, with both of us working and having two children, we cannot be at the site all the time.
Yesterday morning, the workers began setting the formwork for the slab foundation.
When I arrived at the site yesterday, my friendly neighbor was already there waiting for me.
He yelled at me quite loudly and was extremely angry.
He said that the slab foundation towards his side was insulated only with Styrodur (extruded polystyrene).
One of the workers tried to explain that in addition to the Styrodur, a 4 cm (1.6 inch) soundproofing wall would be installed along the house.
Still, he did not calm down.
He just kept yelling. He said he would take pictures and that he would refuse to pay.

We have no intention of demanding any money from him.
I was really shocked!!!

Actually, he should be worried, since he built 3 cm (1.2 inches) of his house’s total length over our property boundary.

What is the legal situation here?
I told my husband about it.
He wanted to see a lawyer right away.
For me, maintaining peace with the neighbor is more important.

Please excuse my spelling mistakes and my lack of knowledge. I have two children and need to keep them happy at the same time.

Thank you,
Sandra

I don’t understand his problem. If you’re not extending the building, there won’t be any insulation (whatever that is supposed to mean).

Before doing anything, take a coffee (I’m sure you’ll bring the workers one now and then – it really boosts morale on site) over to the foundation slab and ask exactly what his issue is.

If that doesn’t help, just shout back that his house is on your property and your workers will now plane his exterior wall by three centimeters (1 inch).

Joking aside: Talking calmly usually helps the most at first.

I think so too. He’s upset because no one has been there before, and now someone is coming in, it’s noisy, dirty, and he just doesn’t like it. Somewhere along the line, he took out his frustration.

Still, it’s rude that he started yelling at you like that. How old is this neighbor? From a time when people thought it was acceptable to treat women that way? I would definitely bring my husband next time, but you should still be the one to speak. It’s possible that your husband’s presence alone will calm him down a bit (yes, those types still exist). Then ask him exactly what is bothering him and why. Ideally, check with your site manager beforehand to make sure everything has been done correctly. Then you can respond calmly and confidently (of course!). And it should be you speaking, not your husband—he’s there just to reinforce your position so the guy understands he has to take you seriously as well. Above all, stay calm.

If the little troublemaker keeps causing a scene, you can politely (of course! Just like you) point out the excess built-up centimeters (inches) and mention that if things continue like this, you will have to consider further action.

nordanney schrieb:

I don’t understand his problem. If you’re not adding an extension, there is no insulation at all (however that is meant).

Before doing anything, bring him a coffee (I’m sure you do that for the workers too – it really helps create a good atmosphere on site), ask him by the foundation slab what his exact problem is.

If that doesn’t help, just shout back that his house is standing on your property and your workers will plane down his exterior wall by three centimeters (about 1¼ inches).

Jokes aside: talking calmly is usually the best first step.

Thanks for your response. His problem is that the soundproofing doesn’t start at the bottom edge of the foundation slab. Instead, it starts higher up. He’s not satisfied that there is only Styrodur there. I offered to discuss it with our site manager, but he just yelled. I had my children with me, so I stayed calm.

Climbee schrieb:

I think so too. He’s annoyed because no one was there before, but now someone is moving in. It’s noisy, messy, and he just doesn’t like it, so he’s taken out his frustration somehow.

Still, it’s rude that he yelled at you right away. How old is this neighbor? From a time when people thought it was okay to behave like that towards women? I would definitely bring my husband along next time but still lead the conversation myself. It might be enough that your husband’s presence calms him down a bit (yes, those kinds of guys still exist). Then ask him exactly what he doesn’t like and why. It’s best if you’ve already checked with your construction manager that everything was done according to proper standards. Then you can respond calmly and confidently (of course!). And it should be you speaking, not your husband—he just stays there as support so the guy knows he has to reckon with you too. Definitely stay calm.

If the little troublemaker keeps causing problems, you can politely (of course! Just like you are, right?) bring up the small amounts the building extends beyond the original property line and mention that if this continues, action will be considered.

He’s retired now.
I understand him as well. The poor man had peace all this time, and now a family with two children is moving in.
Even though it was predictable, we are changing his familiar neighborhood.

I was able to reach my construction manager on the phone just now.
He’s going to try to resolve the situation with him.
He suspects the neighbor is afraid he might have to pay half of the soundproofing costs.

I had a similar conflict last year with the friendly neighbor behind me. First, some advice: since you clearly seem more upset about the issue than he is, try to deescalate the situation—you’ll be living fence to fence after all. Even if it’s difficult, aim to keep things professional.

When you build, there has to be a building permit / planning permission and an approved plan. The type of insulation is also specified there. And the neighbor must have signed off on it as well. If necessary, refer him to your site manager, since you probably don’t understand much about construction. The site manager should take care of these kinds of discussions anyway.