Hello,
I’m not sure if this is the right section for this thread, but I couldn’t find a more suitable one.
I often read here about couples planning and building their house before having children. As a result, the children’s rooms are planned more or less optimistically.
That was also the case for us when we bought our house. At the time, we thought it would be quick and easy to fill the three children’s rooms. A few years later, we have to accept that we will probably never have biological children. Since adoption was an option for us from the start, we are still hopeful that we will have children eventually. The process has already cost us a lot, and there will be more costs to come; in the end, we will probably have spent a mid five-figure amount.
Because of these difficult experiences, I would like to advise every original poster who is building before having children that having children can take longer and be more expensive than planned. But of course, I don’t want to always be the downer. Unfulfilled desire to have children affects about one in ten couples, depending on how you look at it.
What do you think? Am I being too negative? Has anyone else had a similar experience?
I’m not sure if this is the right section for this thread, but I couldn’t find a more suitable one.
I often read here about couples planning and building their house before having children. As a result, the children’s rooms are planned more or less optimistically.
That was also the case for us when we bought our house. At the time, we thought it would be quick and easy to fill the three children’s rooms. A few years later, we have to accept that we will probably never have biological children. Since adoption was an option for us from the start, we are still hopeful that we will have children eventually. The process has already cost us a lot, and there will be more costs to come; in the end, we will probably have spent a mid five-figure amount.
Because of these difficult experiences, I would like to advise every original poster who is building before having children that having children can take longer and be more expensive than planned. But of course, I don’t want to always be the downer. Unfulfilled desire to have children affects about one in ten couples, depending on how you look at it.
What do you think? Am I being too negative? Has anyone else had a similar experience?
haydee schrieb:
Toys are not clutter – says my 90-year-old neighborIf they are in the children’s room, one might consider it… but in the living room, rather: yes, they are! (That means toys for children aged 3-4 and up; everything before that doesn’t count.)
Winniefred17 Mar 2019 17:10We had our children during our studies. We both had fixed-term contracts as working students, but not permanent jobs in the usual sense (as a working student, the contract ends with the completion of the studies). We had little money (relatively quite a bit for students due to part-time jobs) but plenty of time, and after the wedding, the idea of having children came up. I got pregnant quickly both times, so that’s how it went – child 1 during my bachelor’s degree and child 2 during my master’s. I am now 30, completed my master’s degree 4 months ago at age 29, my husband finished his studies earlier and has been working for 2.5 years; he will soon be 32. I am currently still looking for a good part-time job; I only work occasionally, and our children are already 3.5 and almost 6 years old. I would say our path was rather unorthodox, but in the end, it was just right. We also bought a small end-terrace house quite quickly after finishing our studies because we were extremely lucky and managed to get an affordable house (we had been saving for a long time and just barely managed the down payment; nothing was given except for €5,000 (about $5,500) from my grandmother, which she gave me a bit earlier than planned).
Nothing comes from nothing. For us, this only worked because we had been working part-time throughout the entire period of our studies (weekends, nights, holidays), and we had these jobs because we both had completed medical training and worked for a while before our studies. Without this background, we certainly wouldn’t have a house today.
And yes, children make an enormous mess. But I find pets worse, especially cats, which are a real nuisance. Well, they are almost 11 and 12 years old now and were here before the children, and the dog is turning 9 and was also here before the children:
Nothing comes from nothing. For us, this only worked because we had been working part-time throughout the entire period of our studies (weekends, nights, holidays), and we had these jobs because we both had completed medical training and worked for a while before our studies. Without this background, we certainly wouldn’t have a house today.
And yes, children make an enormous mess. But I find pets worse, especially cats, which are a real nuisance. Well, they are almost 11 and 12 years old now and were here before the children, and the dog is turning 9 and was also here before the children:
Müllerin schrieb:
If they are in the children's room, you might consider it... in the living room rather: yes, they are! (meaning toys for children aged 3-4 and up, anything before that doesn’t count.It doesn’t bother me either. Not yet. A play cave like that takes time and space. The living room is a shared living area for everyone.
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