Hello dear members,
I discovered your lovely forum thanks to Google. Unfortunately, as is often the case, a problem has brought me here.
We are building an extension onto an existing semi-detached house in Baden-Württemberg.
We are building on a slab foundation. The friendly neighbor built his half with a basement.
We live 70 kilometers (about 43 miles) away from the construction site.
Therefore, with both of us working and having two children, we cannot be at the site all the time.
Yesterday morning, the workers began setting the formwork for the slab foundation.
When I arrived at the site yesterday, my friendly neighbor was already there waiting for me.
He yelled at me quite loudly and was extremely angry.
He said that the slab foundation towards his side was insulated only with Styrodur (extruded polystyrene).
One of the workers tried to explain that in addition to the Styrodur, a 4 cm (1.6 inch) soundproofing wall would be installed along the house.
Still, he did not calm down.
He just kept yelling. He said he would take pictures and that he would refuse to pay.
We have no intention of demanding any money from him.
I was really shocked!!!
Actually, he should be worried, since he built 3 cm (1.2 inches) of his house’s total length over our property boundary.
What is the legal situation here?
I told my husband about it.
He wanted to see a lawyer right away.
For me, maintaining peace with the neighbor is more important.
Please excuse my spelling mistakes and my lack of knowledge. I have two children and need to keep them happy at the same time.
Thank you,
Sandra
I discovered your lovely forum thanks to Google. Unfortunately, as is often the case, a problem has brought me here.
We are building an extension onto an existing semi-detached house in Baden-Württemberg.
We are building on a slab foundation. The friendly neighbor built his half with a basement.
We live 70 kilometers (about 43 miles) away from the construction site.
Therefore, with both of us working and having two children, we cannot be at the site all the time.
Yesterday morning, the workers began setting the formwork for the slab foundation.
When I arrived at the site yesterday, my friendly neighbor was already there waiting for me.
He yelled at me quite loudly and was extremely angry.
He said that the slab foundation towards his side was insulated only with Styrodur (extruded polystyrene).
One of the workers tried to explain that in addition to the Styrodur, a 4 cm (1.6 inch) soundproofing wall would be installed along the house.
Still, he did not calm down.
He just kept yelling. He said he would take pictures and that he would refuse to pay.
We have no intention of demanding any money from him.
I was really shocked!!!
Actually, he should be worried, since he built 3 cm (1.2 inches) of his house’s total length over our property boundary.
What is the legal situation here?
I told my husband about it.
He wanted to see a lawyer right away.
For me, maintaining peace with the neighbor is more important.
Please excuse my spelling mistakes and my lack of knowledge. I have two children and need to keep them happy at the same time.
Thank you,
Sandra
A
Alessandro20 Apr 2020 14:18Joedreck schrieb:
At our wedding, we already had our one-year-old son. The advantage was that he was weaned.
We rented a motorhome for the grandparents, where the little one slept, and the baby monitor was with my mother-in-law. Everything is possible if you want it. Of course, it’s different when it’s your own child. But on a day like that, I wouldn’t want the mother or grandmother to be tied to the child either!
Alessandro schrieb:
If everyone brings their children to our celebration, that would be a total of 25 kids!
That definitely makes hiring a children’s entertainer worthwhile. Of course, it is ultimately up to the couple to plan the day exactly as they wish.
Joedreck schrieb:
However, I wouldn’t attend the wedding. Because my children belong to me. It sounds a bit strange—you can understand if a neighbor sells their house because of the children, but you can’t understand if a friend wants to invite you without the children?!
Weddings don’t happen very often, so I find it perfectly reasonable for parents to attend alone sometimes.
Some people don’t always have the option to arrange childcare, and I can understand that, but I don’t read that into your sentence at least.
I compare this to a children’s birthday party—do you also say, “I have to go, not without my parents”?
This is just my opinion!
@Alessandro, you did everything right as long as it applied to everyone.
Well, this thread got thoroughly torn apart.
Winniefred20 Apr 2020 14:34Alessandro schrieb:
I have been to so many weddings with children by now...
Screaming in the church, running around during the meal, the wedding dance, the speeches, and so on.
In my opinion, none of this belongs at an adult celebration that costs a lot of money.
The worst I have ever experienced was a baby screaming during the ceremony (the most emotional and touching part), so loudly that no one could understand a single word!
On top of that, I want to enjoy and celebrate the day with friends and family. When people are constantly busy looking after their children, it’s no fun for me or for the parents themselves.
Not to mention that parents can also relax and enjoy the celebration if they don’t have to take care of their kids.
As the bride and groom, the day passes by really fast. You want to spend as much time as possible with the “adults.”
Of course, we make exceptions for parents who have no way to arrange a babysitter.
However, with a year’s notice, I expect everyone to be able to manage that. That would be the point where our friendship would end—if we were friends. But I would accept it. I just wouldn’t discuss it with you, and you would have to do without my presence at the wedding and in the future.
H
HilfeHilfe20 Apr 2020 14:35Alessandro schrieb:
I wanted to get married this year, and we decided to do it without children (at least the celebration).
The reactions were quite varied. What bothered me the most was that some guests immediately started criticizing us as "child-haters"!
You have to explain the reasons behind this decision to those people. But some are so unwilling to understand that even the most logical explanations don't help. Personally, I wouldn’t have come. We come as a complete package or not at all. To me, a wedding is not an adults-only event.
Adults-only to me means swingers, Tinder, etc. I don’t include a wedding in that category.
Only parents understand this.
tumaa schrieb:
That sounds strange too. You can understand if a neighbor is selling their house because of the children, but you can’t understand if a friend without children wants to invite you?!
Weddings don’t happen that often, so I find it absolutely reasonable if parents sometimes spend time alone.
Some people don’t always have the possibility to arrange childcare, which I can understand, but I don’t see that at least in your sentence.
I compare this to a children’s birthday party—do you also say, “I have to go, not without my parents”?
This is just my “opinion”!
@Alessandro, you did everything right, as long as it applied to everyone.
Well, this thread got totally torn apart. Yes, I do understand. And that is also everyone’s good right.
Personally, I see my children as part of my closest family. I don’t regard a wedding as an adults-only event but rather as a family celebration. That is my very personal opinion, and nobody has to share it. However, this is how I know it from my own experience as a child—I was always included at all my parents’ celebrations, just like the other children. We could play and run around as much as we wanted until we fell asleep.
Of course, that doesn’t work with very young children, but certainly later on. We always had a children’s table, drinks were served, and we were allowed to drink cola until the end. This, of course, partly shapes my attitude today.
However, I would never force my personal view on others regarding this matter.