Hello dear members,
I discovered your lovely forum thanks to Google. Unfortunately, as is often the case, a problem has brought me here.
We are building an extension onto an existing semi-detached house in Baden-Württemberg.
We are building on a slab foundation. The friendly neighbor built his half with a basement.
We live 70 kilometers (about 43 miles) away from the construction site.
Therefore, with both of us working and having two children, we cannot be at the site all the time.
Yesterday morning, the workers began setting the formwork for the slab foundation.
When I arrived at the site yesterday, my friendly neighbor was already there waiting for me.
He yelled at me quite loudly and was extremely angry.
He said that the slab foundation towards his side was insulated only with Styrodur (extruded polystyrene).
One of the workers tried to explain that in addition to the Styrodur, a 4 cm (1.6 inch) soundproofing wall would be installed along the house.
Still, he did not calm down.
He just kept yelling. He said he would take pictures and that he would refuse to pay.
We have no intention of demanding any money from him.
I was really shocked!!!
Actually, he should be worried, since he built 3 cm (1.2 inches) of his house’s total length over our property boundary.
What is the legal situation here?
I told my husband about it.
He wanted to see a lawyer right away.
For me, maintaining peace with the neighbor is more important.
Please excuse my spelling mistakes and my lack of knowledge. I have two children and need to keep them happy at the same time.
Thank you,
Sandra
I discovered your lovely forum thanks to Google. Unfortunately, as is often the case, a problem has brought me here.
We are building an extension onto an existing semi-detached house in Baden-Württemberg.
We are building on a slab foundation. The friendly neighbor built his half with a basement.
We live 70 kilometers (about 43 miles) away from the construction site.
Therefore, with both of us working and having two children, we cannot be at the site all the time.
Yesterday morning, the workers began setting the formwork for the slab foundation.
When I arrived at the site yesterday, my friendly neighbor was already there waiting for me.
He yelled at me quite loudly and was extremely angry.
He said that the slab foundation towards his side was insulated only with Styrodur (extruded polystyrene).
One of the workers tried to explain that in addition to the Styrodur, a 4 cm (1.6 inch) soundproofing wall would be installed along the house.
Still, he did not calm down.
He just kept yelling. He said he would take pictures and that he would refuse to pay.
We have no intention of demanding any money from him.
I was really shocked!!!
Actually, he should be worried, since he built 3 cm (1.2 inches) of his house’s total length over our property boundary.
What is the legal situation here?
I told my husband about it.
He wanted to see a lawyer right away.
For me, maintaining peace with the neighbor is more important.
Please excuse my spelling mistakes and my lack of knowledge. I have two children and need to keep them happy at the same time.
Thank you,
Sandra
I also think it’s fine to keep the children outside during the wedding ceremony itself. But at our celebration, they really didn’t stand out. Since they often know each other and immediately start planning mischief together, they were basically gone. I only saw them again during the balloon activity, and after that, they disappeared once more... (It was a hotel in the forest with a large meadow – far away from civilization).
Alessandro schrieb:
It shouldn’t be too much to ask to get the grandparents involved on that day. Not everyone has that option, as in our case. Overnight childcare is hardly feasible with young children. You have to accept that some people might cancel entirely or only one partner might attend.
Alessandro schrieb:
Not everyone has to understand, but if someone doesn’t come just because they can’t be without their children for even one day—while they have no problem leaving them for various drinking outings—that is something I personally find hard to understand. That is certainly true.
Alessandro schrieb:
How often have I heard: We have to leave, the little one is tired. I don’t mean to interfere unnecessarily, but when we got married, we didn’t have children ourselves yet. We knew that many of the guests had (young) children and some of them had to travel a long way. So we asked in advance what we could do to make it easier for them to (hopefully) stay longer at the celebration. That’s how the separate sleeping room came about. Around 10 children slept there. Of course, it doesn’t work out perfectly every time—sometimes there’s a stomach ache, refusal to sleep, too much noise, etc.—but that’s just how it is when you have children. You can’t just make them disappear.
At our wedding, we already had our one-year-old son with us. The advantage was that he was weaned.
We rented a camper van for the grandparents, where the little one slept, and the baby monitor was with my mother-in-law. Everything works out if you want it to. But again: if someone doesn’t want that, it’s absolutely fine with me. I simply won’t come then. I’m not that important. Just handing the children over to celebrate—that’s not something I accept.
But everyone can decide that for themselves.
We rented a camper van for the grandparents, where the little one slept, and the baby monitor was with my mother-in-law. Everything works out if you want it to. But again: if someone doesn’t want that, it’s absolutely fine with me. I simply won’t come then. I’m not that important. Just handing the children over to celebrate—that’s not something I accept.
But everyone can decide that for themselves.
HilfeHilfe schrieb:
Are the owners considered antisocial because they don’t teach their pets manners, or should the dogs be trained a bit better? Well, I certainly hope they’re not acting aggressively.
In my experience, there are no stupid dogs; it's always the leash between the owner and the dog that matters. I understand runners wanting to keep their pace— as a walker, I can stop for a moment. Usually, this can be settled through eye contact with the owners, to see whether I’m allowed to let my dog sniff. Often, owners even prefer if their dog is peacefully ignored. A well-behaved dog only sniffs when permitted. You don’t have to insist on running your route right through a messy or chaotic area— there are definitely neighborhoods that are frequented primarily by more refined people.
By the way, for me, a wedding without children is simply unimaginable.
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Alessandro schrieb:
I don’t want anyone leaving early because of the children!
That’s exactly the point. Otherwise, everything always revolves around the kids, and I personally have no problem with that—I even enjoy joining in the kids’ activities at birthday parties.
But it shouldn’t be too much to ask to have the grandparents help out on this particular day.
Not everyone has to understand, but if someone doesn’t come just because they can’t be without their children for a single day—even though they gladly hand them off for various drinking outings—that’s something I don’t understand.
I’ve heard it so often: “We have to go home; the little one is tired.”
If all the guests with children do that, we’ll be alone on the dance floor by midnight.Don’t let anyone discourage you …We got married in September, don’t have children ourselves, and never excluded kids from the event. However, the ceremony was 1.5 hours (about 1 hour) away, so everyone had to find accommodation.
A good friend of mine ended up leaving the party with his wife and two children before it even started, because the kids just wouldn’t settle down that day.
Even after the kids were in bed, he couldn’t bring himself to return to the party, even though he had a hotel next door … really frustrating.
Many others came without their kids because they were happy to have some time for themselves and to enjoy the party.
There were also a few really relaxed parents who put their children in the loungers that the hosts provided … kids slept while parents had a glass of wine next to them.
If you want a proper party, unfortunately, children don’t fit in—that’s just the way it is.
A
Alessandro20 Apr 2020 14:15I also believe that it's okay to think a bit selfishly in this regard, especially if you regularly see the kids and have fun with them.
If everyone brought their children to our celebration, there would be a total of 25 kids!
Sorry, but a wedding is not a children's event, and they also need to learn that adults have the right to celebrate without children sometimes.
If everyone brought their children to our celebration, there would be a total of 25 kids!
Sorry, but a wedding is not a children's event, and they also need to learn that adults have the right to celebrate without children sometimes.