Hello dear members,
I discovered your lovely forum thanks to Google. Unfortunately, as is often the case, a problem has brought me here.
We are building an extension onto an existing semi-detached house in Baden-Württemberg.
We are building on a slab foundation. The friendly neighbor built his half with a basement.
We live 70 kilometers (about 43 miles) away from the construction site.
Therefore, with both of us working and having two children, we cannot be at the site all the time.
Yesterday morning, the workers began setting the formwork for the slab foundation.
When I arrived at the site yesterday, my friendly neighbor was already there waiting for me.
He yelled at me quite loudly and was extremely angry.
He said that the slab foundation towards his side was insulated only with Styrodur (extruded polystyrene).
One of the workers tried to explain that in addition to the Styrodur, a 4 cm (1.6 inch) soundproofing wall would be installed along the house.
Still, he did not calm down.
He just kept yelling. He said he would take pictures and that he would refuse to pay.
We have no intention of demanding any money from him.
I was really shocked!!!
Actually, he should be worried, since he built 3 cm (1.2 inches) of his house’s total length over our property boundary.
What is the legal situation here?
I told my husband about it.
He wanted to see a lawyer right away.
For me, maintaining peace with the neighbor is more important.
Please excuse my spelling mistakes and my lack of knowledge. I have two children and need to keep them happy at the same time.
Thank you,
Sandra
I discovered your lovely forum thanks to Google. Unfortunately, as is often the case, a problem has brought me here.
We are building an extension onto an existing semi-detached house in Baden-Württemberg.
We are building on a slab foundation. The friendly neighbor built his half with a basement.
We live 70 kilometers (about 43 miles) away from the construction site.
Therefore, with both of us working and having two children, we cannot be at the site all the time.
Yesterday morning, the workers began setting the formwork for the slab foundation.
When I arrived at the site yesterday, my friendly neighbor was already there waiting for me.
He yelled at me quite loudly and was extremely angry.
He said that the slab foundation towards his side was insulated only with Styrodur (extruded polystyrene).
One of the workers tried to explain that in addition to the Styrodur, a 4 cm (1.6 inch) soundproofing wall would be installed along the house.
Still, he did not calm down.
He just kept yelling. He said he would take pictures and that he would refuse to pay.
We have no intention of demanding any money from him.
I was really shocked!!!
Actually, he should be worried, since he built 3 cm (1.2 inches) of his house’s total length over our property boundary.
What is the legal situation here?
I told my husband about it.
He wanted to see a lawyer right away.
For me, maintaining peace with the neighbor is more important.
Please excuse my spelling mistakes and my lack of knowledge. I have two children and need to keep them happy at the same time.
Thank you,
Sandra
Alessandro schrieb:
I was planning to get married this year, and we decided to have the celebration without children. The reactions were quite varied. What bothered me the most was that some guests immediately acted as if we were "child haters."
You have to explain the reasons behind your decision to those people. However, some have so little understanding that even the most logical explanations don’t help. I’m with you on this! It may be inconvenient for some families, but as a family, you should accept such a decision. It would be worse if you singled out just one family and said, “everyone else is welcome, but your children are not...”
I don’t see this situation as an aversion to children!
Alessandro schrieb:
I wanted to get married this year, and we decided to do it without children (at least for the celebration).
What do you mean exactly? No having children before the celebration, or no children allowed at the event? Honestly, I don’t understand the point at all. Why shouldn’t the kids join the party? They can run around, dance, and do somersaults – everyone is loud anyway and there’s always someone watching out.
A
Alessandro20 Apr 2020 13:11I have been to so many weddings with children by now...
Crying in the church, running around during the meal, the wedding dance, the speeches, and so on.
In my opinion, none of this belongs at an adult celebration that costs a lot of money.
The worst thing I have ever experienced was the crying of an infant during the ceremony—that is, during the most emotional and touching part of the event—so loud that no one could hear a single word!
Besides, I want to enjoy and celebrate the day with friends and family. When they are constantly busy looking after their children, it’s no fun for me or for the parents themselves.
Not to mention that the parents can also relax and celebrate if they don’t have to take care of their kids.
As a couple getting married, the day passes very quickly anyway. You want to spend as much time as possible with the "adults."
Of course, we make exceptions for parents who have no way to organize a babysitter.
However, I assume that with a year’s notice, everyone can manage that.
Crying in the church, running around during the meal, the wedding dance, the speeches, and so on.
In my opinion, none of this belongs at an adult celebration that costs a lot of money.
The worst thing I have ever experienced was the crying of an infant during the ceremony—that is, during the most emotional and touching part of the event—so loud that no one could hear a single word!
Besides, I want to enjoy and celebrate the day with friends and family. When they are constantly busy looking after their children, it’s no fun for me or for the parents themselves.
Not to mention that the parents can also relax and celebrate if they don’t have to take care of their kids.
As a couple getting married, the day passes very quickly anyway. You want to spend as much time as possible with the "adults."
Of course, we make exceptions for parents who have no way to organize a babysitter.
However, I assume that with a year’s notice, everyone can manage that.
Alessandro schrieb:
I also want to enjoy the day and celebrate with friends and family. HelloA reasonable wish.
Alessandro is hosting the celebration, Alessandro sets the rules.
It’s his day. If he doesn’t want noise, that is completely fine. Anyone who can’t accept that shouldn’t attend.
Steven
Alessandro schrieb:
The worst thing I have ever experienced was the crying of a baby who started crying loudly during the wedding ceremony (the most emotional and touching part), making it impossible for anyone to understand a word! But that is more a matter of the parents. When our children were very young, we always sat as far back as possible at such events so we could quickly step out if necessary.
Also, not everyone has childcare including overnight care available, no matter how far in advance the event is planned.
So it can happen that guests with children either stay only briefly at the celebration or do not come at all because the child needs care. This can understandably upset some people.