Hello,
I’m not sure if this is the right section for this thread, but I couldn’t find a more suitable one.
I often read here about couples planning and building their house before having children. As a result, the children’s rooms are planned more or less optimistically.
That was also the case for us when we bought our house. At the time, we thought it would be quick and easy to fill the three children’s rooms. A few years later, we have to accept that we will probably never have biological children. Since adoption was an option for us from the start, we are still hopeful that we will have children eventually. The process has already cost us a lot, and there will be more costs to come; in the end, we will probably have spent a mid five-figure amount.
Because of these difficult experiences, I would like to advise every original poster who is building before having children that having children can take longer and be more expensive than planned. But of course, I don’t want to always be the downer. Unfulfilled desire to have children affects about one in ten couples, depending on how you look at it.
What do you think? Am I being too negative? Has anyone else had a similar experience?
I’m not sure if this is the right section for this thread, but I couldn’t find a more suitable one.
I often read here about couples planning and building their house before having children. As a result, the children’s rooms are planned more or less optimistically.
That was also the case for us when we bought our house. At the time, we thought it would be quick and easy to fill the three children’s rooms. A few years later, we have to accept that we will probably never have biological children. Since adoption was an option for us from the start, we are still hopeful that we will have children eventually. The process has already cost us a lot, and there will be more costs to come; in the end, we will probably have spent a mid five-figure amount.
Because of these difficult experiences, I would like to advise every original poster who is building before having children that having children can take longer and be more expensive than planned. But of course, I don’t want to always be the downer. Unfulfilled desire to have children affects about one in ten couples, depending on how you look at it.
What do you think? Am I being too negative? Has anyone else had a similar experience?
If your partner, career, and living situation are in order, starting a family in your mid-twenties is certainly possible, no question. However, this is becoming increasingly rare today. For example, my wife had to move from one fixed-term contract to another for years. In such a situation, you don’t start a family, and building a house is even less likely. Before you know it, you’re in your early or mid-thirties, and if it doesn’t work out right away, maybe even in your forties when you have your first child.
We live opposite a daycare center, and I see the mothers dropping off their children in the morning. I would guess that about 50% of them are already in their forties. So it doesn’t seem unusual to me anymore nowadays.
We live opposite a daycare center, and I see the mothers dropping off their children in the morning. I would guess that about 50% of them are already in their forties. So it doesn’t seem unusual to me anymore nowadays.
I am now in my mid-30s when it comes to having children, and it’s working out quite well (as I said, I could still see myself having another), but the grandparents are already not in the best health (the children are 3.5 years and 4 months old) and probably won’t be around forever, which I think is simply unfortunate for everyone involved. I expect I will try to convey to my children that during university studies (if they choose to attend, of course) is a good time to have children. Some of my fellow students did this, and in my view, it has almost only advantages…
I was almost 27 when I gave birth to our daughter. A few months earlier (already during the pregnancy), I successfully completed my Master’s degree. My husband is a teacher and had just finished his teacher training six months before but was still employed on a temporary contract. Our daughter will turn 2 this summer, and starting in August, I will begin a regular vocational training because, unfortunately, I can’t find work in my field of study here. My husband is still on a temporary contract. Nevertheless, our house construction will start sometime in the next few weeks. It will definitely be challenging, but we will manage, and I’ll be glad to have completed family planning and house building by the time I’m 30.
Keks, you can’t really generalize like that.
The parents of my daughter’s girlfriend struggled with having children during their studies. They both still need practical training hours, which are hardly compensated, and at the same time they have to work to bring in money.
Together, they work over 40 hours per week spread across 6 days. Without financial resources for babysitters, cleaning services, and so on.
The organizational effort to manage everything together would drive many families to the brink of despair. Grandparents can’t always step in either, as they are still working or live in Argentina.
The parents of my daughter’s girlfriend struggled with having children during their studies. They both still need practical training hours, which are hardly compensated, and at the same time they have to work to bring in money.
Together, they work over 40 hours per week spread across 6 days. Without financial resources for babysitters, cleaning services, and so on.
The organizational effort to manage everything together would drive many families to the brink of despair. Grandparents can’t always step in either, as they are still working or live in Argentina.
Jean-Marc schrieb:
My wife, for example, had to move from one fixed-term contract to another for years. You can’t start a family like that, let alone build a house.I have two children (10 and 5 years old), a fixed-term contract, and I bought a house. And all on my own (without a husband). Ask me again in 10 years.
Jean-Marc schrieb:
We live opposite a daycare center, and I see the mothers dropping off their children in the mornings. At 50%, I would guess that many of them are already in their 40s. So this no longer seems very unusual these days.This is not uncommon at all in academically oriented areas. By the time people finish their studies and perhaps even earn a doctorate, they are often already 30 years old. Then they establish themselves a bit in their careers, and it’s easy to reach the age of 35 before seriously considering having children. By the time it actually happens, many are already in their 40s...