Hello,
I’m not sure if this is the right section for this thread, but I couldn’t find a more suitable one.
I often read here about couples planning and building their house before having children. As a result, the children’s rooms are planned more or less optimistically.
That was also the case for us when we bought our house. At the time, we thought it would be quick and easy to fill the three children’s rooms. A few years later, we have to accept that we will probably never have biological children. Since adoption was an option for us from the start, we are still hopeful that we will have children eventually. The process has already cost us a lot, and there will be more costs to come; in the end, we will probably have spent a mid five-figure amount.
Because of these difficult experiences, I would like to advise every original poster who is building before having children that having children can take longer and be more expensive than planned. But of course, I don’t want to always be the downer. Unfulfilled desire to have children affects about one in ten couples, depending on how you look at it.
What do you think? Am I being too negative? Has anyone else had a similar experience?
I’m not sure if this is the right section for this thread, but I couldn’t find a more suitable one.
I often read here about couples planning and building their house before having children. As a result, the children’s rooms are planned more or less optimistically.
That was also the case for us when we bought our house. At the time, we thought it would be quick and easy to fill the three children’s rooms. A few years later, we have to accept that we will probably never have biological children. Since adoption was an option for us from the start, we are still hopeful that we will have children eventually. The process has already cost us a lot, and there will be more costs to come; in the end, we will probably have spent a mid five-figure amount.
Because of these difficult experiences, I would like to advise every original poster who is building before having children that having children can take longer and be more expensive than planned. But of course, I don’t want to always be the downer. Unfulfilled desire to have children affects about one in ten couples, depending on how you look at it.
What do you think? Am I being too negative? Has anyone else had a similar experience?
S
Steffen8013 Mar 2019 20:53blaupuma schrieb:
I can only advise building a house before having children.
I am 31 and have 2 daughters,
3 years and
8 months old.
We are moving in next month.
Planning everything with small kids was definitely a challenge.
My wife was close to burnout at times.
But everything is always individual.
We built a turnkey house and my wife is on parental leave.
Still, it was very demanding.
A friend of mine is now starting to build next to me.
He is doing 80% of the work alone despite a full-time job and a one-year-old daughter. I’m curious to see how he manages.This is how we built: I am self-employed with about 60 working hours per week, did almost all the electrical work myself (complex KNX, DALI, 1WIRE systems), had a toddler (very cheeky!) clinging to me, and my wife was heavily pregnant with the baby born 10 weeks before moving in. All in all: extremely exhausting and I would NOT do it that way again. It probably cost me a few years off my life. But we still managed to get it done.
Steffen80 schrieb:
This is how we built: I was self-employed, working well over 60 hours a week, did almost all the electrical work myself in the house (complex KNX, DALI, 1-WIRE systems), had a toddler (very lively!) to look after, my wife was heavily pregnant with the baby born 10 weeks before we moved in. Overall: extremely exhausting and I definitely would NOT do it this way again. It probably cost me a few years of my life. But we managed it nonetheless.Which industry are you self-employed in, Steffen?
S
Steffen8013 Mar 2019 20:57blaupuma schrieb:
Which industry are you self-employed in, Steffen?IT, so I work from home.
H
HilfeHilfe13 Mar 2019 21:24Steffen80 schrieb:
IT also work from home. Always this home office in sloppy clothes
H
hampshire13 Mar 2019 21:59HilfeHilfe schrieb:
Always this home office in sloppy clothes Always these simplistic stereotypes
W
wurmwichtel13 Mar 2019 22:04Well....
To complete the nerd look, all that’s missing is a photo of your desk with two stacks of pizza boxes, one on each side of the monitor... *rofl*
It’s easier without a kid attached to your leg, but he or she is there, one way or another.
Well... for us, the construction phase meant three months of living in a 24m² (258 sq ft) temporary apartment due to massive botched work by the contractors, with weekend trips to do laundry at my in-laws’, but we survived, and in the end, that kind of experience brings people closer together.
It’s heartwarming to watch a child gradually explore the house (even during construction) and eventually connect their name with the “...going home!” feeling when you turn into the street in front of your own home.
Anyone who gets panicky or overly worried about such things in advance should just skip building and buy a renovated used property instead!
By the way: regarding the idea that having kids can wait –
Have you ever thought about what questions a child might get asked when mom or dad meet one of their teenager’s friends for the first time?
"...hey... is that your grandpa and grandma over there?"
"No!"
"Oh?!? They are really old!"
The way kids test their parents’ patience probably shows us best that we’re not getting any younger.
To complete the nerd look, all that’s missing is a photo of your desk with two stacks of pizza boxes, one on each side of the monitor... *rofl*
blaupuma schrieb:I’ll be blunt: if only, if only.
I can only advise everyone to build before having kids.
I’m 31 and have two daughters,
3 years and
8 months old.
We’ll be moving in next month.
Planning everything with little kids was definitely a challenge.
My wife was close to burnout at times.
...
It’s easier without a kid attached to your leg, but he or she is there, one way or another.
Well... for us, the construction phase meant three months of living in a 24m² (258 sq ft) temporary apartment due to massive botched work by the contractors, with weekend trips to do laundry at my in-laws’, but we survived, and in the end, that kind of experience brings people closer together.
It’s heartwarming to watch a child gradually explore the house (even during construction) and eventually connect their name with the “...going home!” feeling when you turn into the street in front of your own home.
Anyone who gets panicky or overly worried about such things in advance should just skip building and buy a renovated used property instead!
By the way: regarding the idea that having kids can wait –
Have you ever thought about what questions a child might get asked when mom or dad meet one of their teenager’s friends for the first time?
"...hey... is that your grandpa and grandma over there?"
"No!"
"Oh?!? They are really old!"
The way kids test their parents’ patience probably shows us best that we’re not getting any younger.