Hello dear members,
I discovered your lovely forum thanks to Google. Unfortunately, as is often the case, a problem has brought me here.
We are building an extension onto an existing semi-detached house in Baden-Württemberg.
We are building on a slab foundation. The friendly neighbor built his half with a basement.
We live 70 kilometers (about 43 miles) away from the construction site.
Therefore, with both of us working and having two children, we cannot be at the site all the time.
Yesterday morning, the workers began setting the formwork for the slab foundation.
When I arrived at the site yesterday, my friendly neighbor was already there waiting for me.
He yelled at me quite loudly and was extremely angry.
He said that the slab foundation towards his side was insulated only with Styrodur (extruded polystyrene).
One of the workers tried to explain that in addition to the Styrodur, a 4 cm (1.6 inch) soundproofing wall would be installed along the house.
Still, he did not calm down.
He just kept yelling. He said he would take pictures and that he would refuse to pay.
We have no intention of demanding any money from him.
I was really shocked!!!
Actually, he should be worried, since he built 3 cm (1.2 inches) of his house’s total length over our property boundary.
What is the legal situation here?
I told my husband about it.
He wanted to see a lawyer right away.
For me, maintaining peace with the neighbor is more important.
Please excuse my spelling mistakes and my lack of knowledge. I have two children and need to keep them happy at the same time.
Thank you,
Sandra
I discovered your lovely forum thanks to Google. Unfortunately, as is often the case, a problem has brought me here.
We are building an extension onto an existing semi-detached house in Baden-Württemberg.
We are building on a slab foundation. The friendly neighbor built his half with a basement.
We live 70 kilometers (about 43 miles) away from the construction site.
Therefore, with both of us working and having two children, we cannot be at the site all the time.
Yesterday morning, the workers began setting the formwork for the slab foundation.
When I arrived at the site yesterday, my friendly neighbor was already there waiting for me.
He yelled at me quite loudly and was extremely angry.
He said that the slab foundation towards his side was insulated only with Styrodur (extruded polystyrene).
One of the workers tried to explain that in addition to the Styrodur, a 4 cm (1.6 inch) soundproofing wall would be installed along the house.
Still, he did not calm down.
He just kept yelling. He said he would take pictures and that he would refuse to pay.
We have no intention of demanding any money from him.
I was really shocked!!!
Actually, he should be worried, since he built 3 cm (1.2 inches) of his house’s total length over our property boundary.
What is the legal situation here?
I told my husband about it.
He wanted to see a lawyer right away.
For me, maintaining peace with the neighbor is more important.
Please excuse my spelling mistakes and my lack of knowledge. I have two children and need to keep them happy at the same time.
Thank you,
Sandra
A
Alessandro20 Apr 2020 15:01Winniefred schrieb:
And what would that be?
As I said, of course you can do it that way, but I would have no understanding for it. You have your opinion, I have mine, so whatever.
By the way, we usually keep our children at home or bring them to the in-laws in the evening for events like this because we want to celebrate in peace. For me, it’s more a matter of principle that my children are so clearly unwanted that they are categorically uninvited. That would make me question the friendship. But you’re right, we probably wouldn’t be friends anyway for that very reason. We didn’t write on the invitation "please refrain from bringing food, drinks, and children" or "no kids, no grandparents." Of course, we didn’t mention that on the invitation.
We spoke to everyone personally and explained why we wanted it that way. Precisely because the friendship is important to us, and we wanted to celebrate among ourselves one more time. 90% said anyway that they wouldn’t have brought the kids, 5% understood and accepted our explanation, and the rest did not.
The comment regarding the friendship referred to @HilfeHilfe.
What is so hard to understand about this? It’s not about certain children, but rather the fact that there are 25 toddlers involved. As a couple getting married, I wouldn’t be eager to deal with that either.
And instead of allowing some people to bring children but not others, it’s better to be clear from the start: we want to celebrate without children.
And instead of allowing some people to bring children but not others, it’s better to be clear from the start: we want to celebrate without children.
Alessandro schrieb:
It's sad enough that you end lifelong friendships just because someone asks you to leave the children at home for once during the celebration. What kind of friendship would that have been supposed to be?
A wedding without children is like moving into a new home without bread and salt. However, in my circle of friends, there are only well-behaved children, not little tyrants. And teenagers usually don’t want to come along anyway. In my opinion, the description by @Alessandro only makes sense if the entire graduating class gives birth at the same time and all the kids brought along are consequently six months old—but when does such a jackpot with a bonus number actually happen in real life?
A church needs not only an amen but also a hallelujah.
https://www.instagram.com/11antgmxde/
https://www.linkedin.com/company/bauen-jetzt/
H
HilfeHilfe20 Apr 2020 15:08Alessandro schrieb:
We didn’t write on the invitation “please refrain from bringing food, drinks, and children” or “no kids, no grannies.” Of course, we didn’t mention that on the invitation.
Naturally, we spoke personally with everyone and explained why we were doing it. 90% said they wouldn’t have brought the kids anyway, 5% understood and accepted our explanation, and the rest did not.
The comment about friendship referred to @HilfeHilfe’s remark Well, then to me, you’re dishonest and cowardly for not putting it on the invitation. How does that look? Someone receives an invitation, gets excited, tells the kids, and then you show up and say, “but please, no children”?
I wouldn’t be interested in a sterile wedding that runs strictly “by the book,” either.
The last two weddings I attended were wonderful. Children were warmly welcomed and involved. There was a play area, dancing where the kids could join in, and great fun wedding games that especially made the children laugh.
But that’s the problem with German society. The main thing is a glossy, sterile event, no children.
Sure, there were probably great wedding photos with all adults—I would have asked whether they were all gay or if it was some kind of swinger party ^^
Sorry, that’s my twisted sense of humor.
And no, we definitely wouldn’t be friends, and neither would our wives.
Climbee schrieb:
But 25 small children at my wedding? I definitely wouldn’t have wanted that either!Hehe, there were easily 150 at mine... lots of friends with kids... but personally, it didn’t bother me at all.
@Alessandro, it’s already done, but it would have been better if you had informed the families first and then invited them afterwards...
As long as your circle of friends didn’t fall apart because of it, then it’s okay.
A
Alessandro20 Apr 2020 15:21HilfeHilfe schrieb:
Well then, to me you’re dishonest and afraid to admit it. How does that look? You receive an invitation, get excited, tell the kids, and then you show up and say, “But please, no children”?
I wouldn’t be interested in a sterile wedding that goes strictly “according to plan” either.
The last two weddings were wonderful. The children were warmly welcomed and included. There was a play area, there was dancing where the kids could also join in, and there were great, fun wedding games where the children especially got all the laughs.
But that’s the problem with society here. It’s all about looking nice and polished, sterile, no children.
Sure, there were probably great wedding photos with only adults—I might have asked if they were all gay or if it was a swingers party ^^
Sorry, that’s my twisted sense of humor.
And no, we definitely wouldn’t be friends, nor would our wives. That’s EXACTLY how we did it too! I don’t know why you always feel the need to read something into it and angrily add your two cents when you clearly don’t know anything about it?!
I don’t want a kids’ dance corner, no bouncy castle, no table magician. This isn’t a children’s birthday party! It’s a day for my wife and me. Anyone who can’t accept THAT is, in my opinion, selfish! The children can happily be the center of attention the other 364 days of the year.
I’m not even talking about teenage children, but about kids who depend on their parents and constantly need their attention!