Hello dear members,
I discovered your lovely forum thanks to Google. Unfortunately, as is often the case, a problem has brought me here.
We are building an extension onto an existing semi-detached house in Baden-Württemberg.
We are building on a slab foundation. The friendly neighbor built his half with a basement.
We live 70 kilometers (about 43 miles) away from the construction site.
Therefore, with both of us working and having two children, we cannot be at the site all the time.
Yesterday morning, the workers began setting the formwork for the slab foundation.
When I arrived at the site yesterday, my friendly neighbor was already there waiting for me.
He yelled at me quite loudly and was extremely angry.
He said that the slab foundation towards his side was insulated only with Styrodur (extruded polystyrene).
One of the workers tried to explain that in addition to the Styrodur, a 4 cm (1.6 inch) soundproofing wall would be installed along the house.
Still, he did not calm down.
He just kept yelling. He said he would take pictures and that he would refuse to pay.
We have no intention of demanding any money from him.
I was really shocked!!!
Actually, he should be worried, since he built 3 cm (1.2 inches) of his house’s total length over our property boundary.
What is the legal situation here?
I told my husband about it.
He wanted to see a lawyer right away.
For me, maintaining peace with the neighbor is more important.
Please excuse my spelling mistakes and my lack of knowledge. I have two children and need to keep them happy at the same time.
Thank you,
Sandra
I discovered your lovely forum thanks to Google. Unfortunately, as is often the case, a problem has brought me here.
We are building an extension onto an existing semi-detached house in Baden-Württemberg.
We are building on a slab foundation. The friendly neighbor built his half with a basement.
We live 70 kilometers (about 43 miles) away from the construction site.
Therefore, with both of us working and having two children, we cannot be at the site all the time.
Yesterday morning, the workers began setting the formwork for the slab foundation.
When I arrived at the site yesterday, my friendly neighbor was already there waiting for me.
He yelled at me quite loudly and was extremely angry.
He said that the slab foundation towards his side was insulated only with Styrodur (extruded polystyrene).
One of the workers tried to explain that in addition to the Styrodur, a 4 cm (1.6 inch) soundproofing wall would be installed along the house.
Still, he did not calm down.
He just kept yelling. He said he would take pictures and that he would refuse to pay.
We have no intention of demanding any money from him.
I was really shocked!!!
Actually, he should be worried, since he built 3 cm (1.2 inches) of his house’s total length over our property boundary.
What is the legal situation here?
I told my husband about it.
He wanted to see a lawyer right away.
For me, maintaining peace with the neighbor is more important.
Please excuse my spelling mistakes and my lack of knowledge. I have two children and need to keep them happy at the same time.
Thank you,
Sandra
H
HilfeHilfe20 Apr 2020 14:37Alessandro schrieb:
I just don’t want anyone leaving early because of the kids!
That’s exactly the point. Everything always revolves around the children, but I have no problem with that otherwise and I’m happy to join in with the kids’ parties and silly games.
Surely it’s not too much to ask to get the grandparents involved just for this one day.
Not everyone has to understand, but when someone doesn’t come because they can’t be without their kids for even one day—especially when they usually leave them behind for various drinking outings—that’s something I don’t get.
How often have I heard: We have to go home, the little one is tired.
If all guests with children do that, by midnight we’ll be the only ones left on the dance floor. And you think having a babysitter means people will stay longer and really let loose?!
What world do you live in?
When the kids aren’t there, especially when they are young, your mind is always with them.
Besides, I wouldn’t spend money on a babysitter just so you could really party.
A
Alessandro20 Apr 2020 14:43I wouldn’t be friends with you either, based on everything I’ve read from you so far.
A
Alessandro20 Apr 2020 14:45Winniefred schrieb:
That would be the point where our friendship would end, if we were friends. But I would accept that, so I certainly wouldn’t argue with you, you would just have to do without my presence at the wedding and in the future.It's sad enough that you end lifelong friendships just because someone asks you to leave the children at home for the celebration on this occasion.
HilfeHilfe schrieb:
Adult only means swingers to meI have to say, I’ve often had a good laugh in this forum... Just now, there was something in the “house pictures thread” about funny lighting colors...
I immediately thought of this invitation:
“Dear friends, we warmly invite you to our kennel party, but please do not bring your children along”
I understand, Alessandro. Things are just not like they used to be, when you could simply take the children along and they would somehow keep themselves occupied.
I know weddings where planning the kids’ program is at least as complicated as organizing the celebration itself—and I wouldn’t want to deal with that either. Many children are no longer able to entertain themselves for a few hours. I’m not talking about them coming up every now and then to ask for mom or dad, but rather about their complete inability to stay occupied on their own because they’re used to constant stimulation.
This is a development I’ve observed for some time (I was a ski instructor for many years and really noticed how things changed over the years).
So I can understand if people simply don’t want a group of 25 kids at their wedding who then expect to be kept busy so that the couple can still have some space to themselves.
Full understanding!
We got married late, meaning most of my friends’ children are teenagers and not really interested in something dull like their parents’ friends’ wedding (phew, lucky us!). The only parents with infants arranged to leave them with their own or their in-laws because they wanted to party. And my niece and nephews were, of course, there. But for them, I actually got cheap handheld gaming devices (one for each) to keep them busy. And that worked. Eventually, my sister-in-law left with the kids, while my brother kept celebrating.
But 25 toddlers at my wedding? I definitely would not have wanted that either!
I know weddings where planning the kids’ program is at least as complicated as organizing the celebration itself—and I wouldn’t want to deal with that either. Many children are no longer able to entertain themselves for a few hours. I’m not talking about them coming up every now and then to ask for mom or dad, but rather about their complete inability to stay occupied on their own because they’re used to constant stimulation.
This is a development I’ve observed for some time (I was a ski instructor for many years and really noticed how things changed over the years).
So I can understand if people simply don’t want a group of 25 kids at their wedding who then expect to be kept busy so that the couple can still have some space to themselves.
Full understanding!
We got married late, meaning most of my friends’ children are teenagers and not really interested in something dull like their parents’ friends’ wedding (phew, lucky us!). The only parents with infants arranged to leave them with their own or their in-laws because they wanted to party. And my niece and nephews were, of course, there. But for them, I actually got cheap handheld gaming devices (one for each) to keep them busy. And that worked. Eventually, my sister-in-law left with the kids, while my brother kept celebrating.
But 25 toddlers at my wedding? I definitely would not have wanted that either!
Winniefred20 Apr 2020 14:56Alessandro schrieb:
I wouldn’t be friends with you either, based on everything I’ve read from you so far And what exactly would that be?
As I said, of course you can do it that way, but I would have zero understanding for it. You have your opinion, I have mine, so whatever.
By the way, in situations like that we usually keep our children at home or take them to the in-laws in the evening, because we want to enjoy the celebration peacefully. For me, it’s more a matter of principle that my children are so unwelcome that they’re categorically uninvited. That would make me question the friendship. But you’re right, we probably wouldn’t be friends in the first place because of that.