ᐅ Semi-detached house – Troubles with the neighbor

Sandrasix schrieb:

His argument is that if you replace the disruptive children with people of black skin color, it would be considered racism.

chand1986 schrieb:

But "annoying children" cause their effect through an activity, not through their appearance. That is not just a weak argument, it is not even a comparison.

Again: there is a framework, even if not clearly defined, in which the activities of children must be tolerated, even if they are perceived as disturbing. They are louder than adults. And they are allowed to be.

But constantly yelling by one’s own children at the highest decibel level, shrugged off as “natural” behavior and simply imposed on others, shows poor judgment about what is socially acceptable and what is not. It lies outside the mentioned framework and cannot be excluded from discussion as a parenting style that is supposedly a private matter because of its impact on others.

The argument that you can only participate in the discussion if you have your own children is a cheap shut-down tactic. I do not have to do the work myself to judge the quality of the mere result. Without being a carpenter, I recognize a bad cabinet. Without growing fruit, I can judge the quality of apples. And without raising my own children, I can distinguish well-behaved children from less well-behaved ones and assess children’s behavior as acceptable or not. If someone screams often, I hear it with my ears, not through having children of my own.
Whether their own parents would agree with me plays the smallest role because, sorry to have to say this: nobody is less objective in judging a child than its own parents. I can state that with 100% certainty after long experience as a caregiver. And nature has certainly set it up that way for good reasons, so no accusation, just an observation.

chand1986 schrieb:

But "disruptive children" cause disturbance through their actions, not through their appearance. That is not just an unfair comparison, it is not even comparable.

Again: There is a framework—although not clearly defined—within which children’s activities must be tolerated, even if they are perceived as disturbing. They are louder than adults. And that is acceptable.

However, constantly yelling children at top volume, shrugged off as simply “natural” behavior, and forcing this upon others in the environment, reflects poor judgment about what is appropriate in social interactions and what is not. It falls outside the aforementioned framework and, due to its impact on others, cannot simply be excluded from discussion as a parenting style that is purely a private matter.

The argument that only parents are entitled to an opinion is a cheap dismissal. I do not need to perform a task myself to judge the quality of the end result. Without being a carpenter, I can recognize a poorly made cabinet. Without growing fruit myself, I can judge the quality of apples. And without raising children of my own, I can distinguish well-behaved children from less well-behaved ones and evaluate whether children’s behavior is acceptable or not. If someone screams often, I hear that with my ears, not with my own children.
Whether the child’s own parents agree with me is of negligible importance because, pardon me saying this: no one is less objective in judging a child than his or her own parents. I can say that with full certainty after many years of caregiving experience. That is also naturally designed for good reasons, so no criticism intended, just an observation.

Sandrasix schrieb:

Hats off!!!!
Great how you wrote that❤

chand1986 schrieb:

That’s really kind coming from you as the thread creator, especially since I tend to go off-topic quite often when I join in. But with some subjects, I just can’t help myself. Just let me know briefly if it becomes a problem.