Hello dear members,
I discovered your lovely forum thanks to Google. Unfortunately, as is often the case, a problem has brought me here.
We are building an extension onto an existing semi-detached house in Baden-Württemberg.
We are building on a slab foundation. The friendly neighbor built his half with a basement.
We live 70 kilometers (about 43 miles) away from the construction site.
Therefore, with both of us working and having two children, we cannot be at the site all the time.
Yesterday morning, the workers began setting the formwork for the slab foundation.
When I arrived at the site yesterday, my friendly neighbor was already there waiting for me.
He yelled at me quite loudly and was extremely angry.
He said that the slab foundation towards his side was insulated only with Styrodur (extruded polystyrene).
One of the workers tried to explain that in addition to the Styrodur, a 4 cm (1.6 inch) soundproofing wall would be installed along the house.
Still, he did not calm down.
He just kept yelling. He said he would take pictures and that he would refuse to pay.
We have no intention of demanding any money from him.
I was really shocked!!!
Actually, he should be worried, since he built 3 cm (1.2 inches) of his house’s total length over our property boundary.
What is the legal situation here?
I told my husband about it.
He wanted to see a lawyer right away.
For me, maintaining peace with the neighbor is more important.
Please excuse my spelling mistakes and my lack of knowledge. I have two children and need to keep them happy at the same time.
Thank you,
Sandra
I discovered your lovely forum thanks to Google. Unfortunately, as is often the case, a problem has brought me here.
We are building an extension onto an existing semi-detached house in Baden-Württemberg.
We are building on a slab foundation. The friendly neighbor built his half with a basement.
We live 70 kilometers (about 43 miles) away from the construction site.
Therefore, with both of us working and having two children, we cannot be at the site all the time.
Yesterday morning, the workers began setting the formwork for the slab foundation.
When I arrived at the site yesterday, my friendly neighbor was already there waiting for me.
He yelled at me quite loudly and was extremely angry.
He said that the slab foundation towards his side was insulated only with Styrodur (extruded polystyrene).
One of the workers tried to explain that in addition to the Styrodur, a 4 cm (1.6 inch) soundproofing wall would be installed along the house.
Still, he did not calm down.
He just kept yelling. He said he would take pictures and that he would refuse to pay.
We have no intention of demanding any money from him.
I was really shocked!!!
Actually, he should be worried, since he built 3 cm (1.2 inches) of his house’s total length over our property boundary.
What is the legal situation here?
I told my husband about it.
He wanted to see a lawyer right away.
For me, maintaining peace with the neighbor is more important.
Please excuse my spelling mistakes and my lack of knowledge. I have two children and need to keep them happy at the same time.
Thank you,
Sandra
Joedreck schrieb:
Children or families with children are protected by law and societynordanney schrieb:
Unfortunately not – at least not sociallyI don’t think so either. That wasn’t what I meant. I was referring to the community perspective. By the way, I’m not childless. My granddaughter clearly understands the difference between loud and quiet. She always goes to the person she wants something from and doesn’t shout, even though they have a garden in a rural area.
nordanney schrieb:
Unfortunately not—at least not socially. In that regard, we’re sadly still a developing country. I always enjoy being with my kids especially in southern countries abroad (also in Latin America or Africa). There, children are a natural part of everyday life and completely normal.
Here in Germany, you are often seen as the annoyed parent with kids—with my (well-behaved) three children, you often get strange looks (in hardware stores, restaurants, hotels, etc.). It’s awful! I’m really sorry for you, truly, but unfortunately others have messed this up in your case...
Those who don’t behave with three children...
I still have the song from our last trip to the lake (long ago) stuck in my head: “I’m the first in the water, I’m in deep...” repeated 800 times, with the mother on the shore on her phone... that was the end of the lake visit...
Unfortunately, this causes people to stare at the next family settling by the lake and think: Oh God, please not...
And those might actually be quite nice...
When I was a child, something like that just didn’t happen; my parents would have told me off if I screamed like that...
nordanney schrieb:
Unfortunately not – at least socially. In that respect, we are still a developing country. I always enjoy being with my kids, especially in southern countries abroad (also often in Latin America or Africa). There, children are completely normal and a natural part of everyday life.
Here in Germany, you often end up being the annoyed person with kids – with my (well-behaved) three children, you often get strange looks (in hardware stores, restaurants, hotels, etc.). Terrible!I’m sorry to hear that, but I cannot confirm it from my experience. We are always warmly welcomed as a family, and almost everyone speaks to the children in a very pleasant way.nordanney schrieb:
Unfortunately not—at least socially. In this regard, we are still a developing country. I always enjoy being with my kids, especially in southern countries abroad (also gladly in Latin America or Africa). There, children are simply seen as the most natural part of everyday life.
Here in Germany, you are often the annoyed person with kids—when you have my (well-behaved) three children, you are frequently met with strange looks (in hardware stores, restaurants, hotels, etc.). Terrible! I completely agree, and I would even claim that in Germany, people like dogs more than children, proportionally.
Example on vacation: Turkey vs. Germany = Turkey wins when it comes to being child-friendly.
I am talking about general tendencies; of course, not everyone in Germany dislikes children.
During vacations, your money is especially in demand, and children are an excellent way to access it.
For the complainers here, I recommend the article "You Live in Paradise" in taz.
It’s, in my opinion, a distorted view. There are many advantages here for families and children.
Where does this assumption actually come from?
The neighbors may already have experience with children and have decided for themselves not to live in direct proximity.
Perhaps your brother’s children have already “had an impact” without you noticing or knowing?
You also have to consider that they may have lived here in the calmest peace for, say, 20 years. It always depends on perspective and individual tolerance. I think Sandrasix expressed it very well:
For the complainers here, I recommend the article "You Live in Paradise" in taz.
It’s, in my opinion, a distorted view. There are many advantages here for families and children.
Altai schrieb:
What I find shocking is this stereotypical thinking – children mean the end of peace – and the consequence of not even giving the new neighbor a chance, but immediately selling your home.
Where does this assumption actually come from?
The neighbors may already have experience with children and have decided for themselves not to live in direct proximity.
Perhaps your brother’s children have already “had an impact” without you noticing or knowing?
You also have to consider that they may have lived here in the calmest peace for, say, 20 years. It always depends on perspective and individual tolerance. I think Sandrasix expressed it very well:
Sandrasix schrieb:
If I had a Ferrari, my OWN loud car wouldn’t bother me.
But if someone drives down the street during my usual quiet hours, it could annoy me.
I think that’s human.
guckuck2 schrieb:
During vacations, your money is especially in demand, and children are very effective at managing that.But what if these people didn’t earn anything from it and still behaved that way, simply hoping to generate income?
Then it should be the same in Germany as well. Wherever you go on vacation, you can draw comparisons, and this has been confirmed repeatedly.
Every country has its own advantages… some provide quality and punctuality, while others are known for their hospitality. Of course, there are exceptions!