Good day!
May I please tap into the collective intelligence of this forum for a very basic question? I assume many people here have given a lot of thought to the topic of "living," so I hope to get some input.
First of all: Twenty years ago, I built a house on my parents’ property in a suburb of Berlin. I was in my mid-20s at the time. Now I am in my mid-40s and still live there alone, because this type of living arrangement (house with a garden in a suburb and my parents right next door) seems to be a total deal-breaker for women in Berlin. I should mention that I don’t generally have much luck with women and have to fight hard for every single date. Whenever a woman did come over—which was very rare—that was also the last date.
Now I’m wondering: What are my chances of changing my living situation? And what kind of living arrangement would better suit my situation? Obviously, the house with the garden is not the answer. I spent three years building it at the time and mostly paid from ongoing income, since I’ve always had good projects and earned well. Since moving in, I have been investing the monthly rent I was saving into a stock fund, and I now have about 400,000 EUR (about $440,000) saved up. Of course, that’s not enough for a plot of land and a new house somewhere else. I also don’t want to get into debt.
I cannot sell my house, since it is built on my parents’ land. From what I understand, the property still legally belongs to my parents, even though I paid for the construction. Renting it out is not an option either, since my parents don’t want strangers on their property. Leaving it empty is out of the question for me because of my social conscience, and it would also be economically pointless.
What options do you see? I have never lived in a rented apartment or a multi-family building, so I don’t know if owning a condominium (flat/apartment) would be a solution for me. I am always worried that someone above me might fall asleep with a cigarette or someone next door might tamper with their gas heating.
I am open to all ideas, including ones I haven’t thought of yet. I can even imagine buying a boat and living on it year-round. I could partly offset the cost of the mooring by no longer needing a cleaning service. This would also allow me to adapt my place of residence flexibly according to circumstances. For example, when others have to leave their apartments because a bomb needs to be defused nearby, I could simply move my floating home outside the evacuation zone for that time. That doesn’t sound too bad. I just don’t know how that would go over with women. It probably can’t be worse than now…
What do you think?
Sebastian
May I please tap into the collective intelligence of this forum for a very basic question? I assume many people here have given a lot of thought to the topic of "living," so I hope to get some input.
First of all: Twenty years ago, I built a house on my parents’ property in a suburb of Berlin. I was in my mid-20s at the time. Now I am in my mid-40s and still live there alone, because this type of living arrangement (house with a garden in a suburb and my parents right next door) seems to be a total deal-breaker for women in Berlin. I should mention that I don’t generally have much luck with women and have to fight hard for every single date. Whenever a woman did come over—which was very rare—that was also the last date.
Now I’m wondering: What are my chances of changing my living situation? And what kind of living arrangement would better suit my situation? Obviously, the house with the garden is not the answer. I spent three years building it at the time and mostly paid from ongoing income, since I’ve always had good projects and earned well. Since moving in, I have been investing the monthly rent I was saving into a stock fund, and I now have about 400,000 EUR (about $440,000) saved up. Of course, that’s not enough for a plot of land and a new house somewhere else. I also don’t want to get into debt.
I cannot sell my house, since it is built on my parents’ land. From what I understand, the property still legally belongs to my parents, even though I paid for the construction. Renting it out is not an option either, since my parents don’t want strangers on their property. Leaving it empty is out of the question for me because of my social conscience, and it would also be economically pointless.
What options do you see? I have never lived in a rented apartment or a multi-family building, so I don’t know if owning a condominium (flat/apartment) would be a solution for me. I am always worried that someone above me might fall asleep with a cigarette or someone next door might tamper with their gas heating.
I am open to all ideas, including ones I haven’t thought of yet. I can even imagine buying a boat and living on it year-round. I could partly offset the cost of the mooring by no longer needing a cleaning service. This would also allow me to adapt my place of residence flexibly according to circumstances. For example, when others have to leave their apartments because a bomb needs to be defused nearby, I could simply move my floating home outside the evacuation zone for that time. That doesn’t sound too bad. I just don’t know how that would go over with women. It probably can’t be worse than now…
What do you think?
Sebastian
P
Pinkiponk17 Feb 2020 08:26Klangvoll schrieb:
The idea of the boat might not be such a bad one after all, as you could gradually increase the number of overnight stays...That’s a really good idea. Especially since you can initially present the boat to your parents as a hobby rather than a move or a new residence with a different address. Hopefully, in the medium term, it will lead to that if you enjoy it. The boat should, however, be comfortable enough to be equivalent to an apartment or house. Now I need to quickly check whether and where that is allowed in Berlin.I can share this with you now since I am a boater myself: If it is actually a seaworthy boat and not just a "floating structure," then living on it permanently is not a problem as long as the marina operator agrees. Permanent residents are usually welcomed because they provide social oversight and therefore increase security.
The important thing is that the boat is well insulated and has a proper heating system. A relatively stable shore power connection is also an advantage. He will probably have an inland navigation license if he is considering something like this. Hopefully, we're not talking about a wooden hut on plastic barrels with a 15 hp (horsepower) outboard motor.
Otherwise, I think the idea is good, and especially in Berlin and the surrounding area, it is feasible.
Matthias
The important thing is that the boat is well insulated and has a proper heating system. A relatively stable shore power connection is also an advantage. He will probably have an inland navigation license if he is considering something like this. Hopefully, we're not talking about a wooden hut on plastic barrels with a 15 hp (horsepower) outboard motor.
Otherwise, I think the idea is good, and especially in Berlin and the surrounding area, it is feasible.
Matthias
I know three people: two of them live in a self-built house on their parents' property, and the other lives in a two-family house with the parents (two separate units). Two have one child each, while the other „only“ has a long-term girlfriend. I believe that the living situation has nothing to do with whether someone finds a partner or not; it depends entirely on one’s own behavior and whether the couple generally suits each other.
Best regards
Sabine
Best regards
Sabine
Klangvoll schrieb:
The idea of using the boat might not be so bad; you could gradually increase the number of nights spent there... It really doesn’t matter to your parents WHERE you stay overnight away from home, whether it’s a boat, an apartment, a friend’s place, or elsewhere. The fact is that it’s somewhere else. And that will upset your parents. The pressure will continue.
B
Benutzer1917 Feb 2020 09:33Sorry, but you need to move out! Even if you can’t imagine it, it’s possible and you will do yourself and your parents a huge favor by doing so.
Rent yourself a nice apartment and leave the house as it is. Either you work only in your house, or you also rent a recording studio. Money doesn’t seem to be an issue for you. You can also easily use that money to support your parents with caregivers or assistance. Once you are living separately, you will see that your relationship becomes much more relaxed. For example, you can regularly come by for Sunday lunch and enjoy quality family time.
In my view, this is the starting point. If you don’t change this, your life won’t change either. Or it will only change when your parents are no longer alive, which of course no one hopes will happen soon.
You’re in your mid-40s; you need to live your own life. You can do that without neglecting your parents.
Good luck!
Rent yourself a nice apartment and leave the house as it is. Either you work only in your house, or you also rent a recording studio. Money doesn’t seem to be an issue for you. You can also easily use that money to support your parents with caregivers or assistance. Once you are living separately, you will see that your relationship becomes much more relaxed. For example, you can regularly come by for Sunday lunch and enjoy quality family time.
In my view, this is the starting point. If you don’t change this, your life won’t change either. Or it will only change when your parents are no longer alive, which of course no one hopes will happen soon.
You’re in your mid-40s; you need to live your own life. You can do that without neglecting your parents.
Good luck!
M
Matthew0317 Feb 2020 11:48It’s quite simple: be true to yourself* and finally become independent from your mom, otherwise it won’t work out.
*it’s so obvious that Matthias = Sebastian etc., what’s the deal? Grow up, and then you’ll have better luck with women.
*it’s so obvious that Matthias = Sebastian etc., what’s the deal? Grow up, and then you’ll have better luck with women.
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