Last night we visited friends, and of course, during the evening conversations over red wine, the topic eventually turned to our upcoming house construction (specifically the building of our prefabricated house in September). Our friends built their house back in 2015/2016 and already warned us about how stressful the construction phase can be for a relationship or marriage. They shared numerous examples from their new housing development, where tensions between partners remained quite high for a long time, dampening the enjoyment of the new home. For instance, one couple still hasnât agreed on what kind of paving to have in front of their house, so nothing has been done yet, and the area is still just covered in gravel. For others, the design of the terrace seems to be dispute number one... Iâd rather not know what else causes arguments inside the house.
Our prefabricated house sales consultant mentioned that even during the two-day selection appointment, there have been loud arguments, and he had to act as an unintentional mediator.
My wife tends to stay in the background and leaves many planning decisions up to me. However, when it comes to shapes, color schemes, and so on, she can be very assertive. We agree on the general aspects, but of course, we havenât discussed all the finer details inside and outside yet.
So my question is: how have you handled disagreements?
Does one of you give in?
Do you negotiate a compromise?
Do you balance things out elsewhere?
Do you leave it to chance?
I would be pleased to read a bit about this delicate topic, which is rarely discussed openly... after all, weâre among friends here.
Our prefabricated house sales consultant mentioned that even during the two-day selection appointment, there have been loud arguments, and he had to act as an unintentional mediator.
My wife tends to stay in the background and leaves many planning decisions up to me. However, when it comes to shapes, color schemes, and so on, she can be very assertive. We agree on the general aspects, but of course, we havenât discussed all the finer details inside and outside yet.
So my question is: how have you handled disagreements?
Does one of you give in?
Do you negotiate a compromise?
Do you balance things out elsewhere?
Do you leave it to chance?
I would be pleased to read a bit about this delicate topic, which is rarely discussed openly... after all, weâre among friends here.
Fummelbrett schrieb:
SHE is a wealthy heiress, HE is an unsuccessful artistThis could actually be a well-functioning arrangement if the investor trusts the artist and he turns a house construction into a masterpiece (assuming he has artistic talent, and she less so). He has no money but definitely makes sure the place looks great, she pays with her money and â above all â trusts his talent!
Thatâs how you find the right fit!
ypg schrieb:
This could actually be a successful arrangement if the financier trusts the artist and he turns the house construction into a masterpiece (assuming his artistic talent and her having less of it).
He has no money but will definitely pay her with the funds to make the place look cool and â above all â trust in his talent!
That makes a perfect fit! No, no, no, an unsuccessful artist who only has visions but never delivers. Someone who spends years planning a mural and sits motionless in front of a blank wall but already keeps buying new materials worth several thousand euros.
Fummelbrett schrieb:
No no, an unsuccessful artist who only has visions but never gets anything done. Someone who plans a mural for years and just sits motionless in front of the white wall, yet always keeps buying new materials worth several thousand euros. I was talking about talent!
C
chand19864 May 2019 13:02@Farilo
It is not about who gives up which job for the sake of raising children, but simply that this person has a share in the otherâs income as a result.
It is not about who gives up which job for the sake of raising children, but simply that this person has a share in the otherâs income as a result.
ypg schrieb:
Anyone who says something like that really has no one else to blame.... You think youâre so great... yes, you do!
Character often shows itself between the lines Dear Yvonne, it has long been clear to meânot just to meâthat you are by far the best person in this forum in terms of character, who naturally has the perfect relationship and always does everything right.
Zaba12 schrieb:
This only supports my statement that she is building the house for herself, which is understandable given the situation. The partner is just an accessory to avoid being alone, which is completely legitimate.
Will he pay rent in the future, or does he have to work it off? You can choose whichever you prefer
CoolCat schrieb:
Very judgmental; just the use of the term âdo-gooderâ is telling.
Anyone who throws around polemics and oversimplifies facts artificially shouldnât take everything so personally, and especially shouldnât bring such elaborate scenarios into the discussion. Who exactly used the term âdo-gooderâ here?
I generally donât take anything personally in a forum. Why would I?! Youâre all very kind and friendly people.
I have to say that, in our case, discussions are quite limited, and we havenât really had any serious arguments yet. When it comes to building the house, we complement each other well. For example, my partner is interested in the technical aspects, while I focus more on the style of the interior and the finer details. We communicate, share whatâs important to us, and so far everything has been running smoothly.
Of course, there are days when, after hours of choosing materials and finishes, you just feel completely exhausted or in a bad mood. But I think everyone goes through that at some point. Building a house is simply demanding, and you shouldnât underestimate that.
Of course, there are days when, after hours of choosing materials and finishes, you just feel completely exhausted or in a bad mood. But I think everyone goes through that at some point. Building a house is simply demanding, and you shouldnât underestimate that.