Hello everyone,
Today, I want to look at the topic of help from family, friends, and acquaintances from a different perspective.
A good friend and teammate from our football team recently bought a house and is now renovating most of it himself. Although I work in an office job, I consider myself a fairly skilled craftsman, so I have offered my help to him several times.
Recently, he accepted my offer and asked me and another friend to help with the drywall work. The task was simply to finish the newly built dormers in two rooms with drywall panels and prepare them for wallpapering.
Here is how it went:
After two weeks of work, only one room will be finished.
Conclusion / Self-reflection:
I have offered my help multiple times and am glad to assist when I can. Still, as a helper, I can’t drop everything; I have hobbies, family, and a job, too. Therefore, I can’t always help and – even though I’m a skilled craftsman – I need much more time than a professional, who probably would have finished filling and sanding all the rooms in three days.
What I want to say is:
Don’t overestimate the help you get from family, friends, and acquaintances. After work, progress is much slower, even when skilled people are involved. Also, helpers won’t keep doing it forever.
I hope my post helps some of you better understand this topic.
Today, I want to look at the topic of help from family, friends, and acquaintances from a different perspective.
A good friend and teammate from our football team recently bought a house and is now renovating most of it himself. Although I work in an office job, I consider myself a fairly skilled craftsman, so I have offered my help to him several times.
Recently, he accepted my offer and asked me and another friend to help with the drywall work. The task was simply to finish the newly built dormers in two rooms with drywall panels and prepare them for wallpapering.
Here is how it went:
- Saturday 12:30 PM - 6:30 PM: We were there for the first time on Saturday. Unfortunately, the carpenters hadn’t done a good job, so we first had to build a complete substructure. Everything took a bit longer because we didn’t have all the necessary tools with us, and the delicious refreshments took up quite a bit of time.
- Sunday: Football
- Monday 5:15 PM - 8:00 PM: First, we went to the local building materials supplier to get the needed materials. Afterwards, we managed to finish one side wall.
- Tuesday: It’s not worth starting between the end of work and football training. Besides, my wife also wants to see me sometimes.
- Wednesday: Unfortunately, I’m away on work until late at night.
- Thursday: We will probably manage the other side wall and the front wall.
- Friday: It’s not worth starting between the end of work and football training. Also ...
- Saturday: In the morning, we hope to finish the ceiling and be able to do the first filling. If the weather is dry, I will probably have to cancel and go chopping wood with my father (which I promised some time ago). In the afternoon, there are football and a birthday planned.
- Sunday: Rest day ... my wife is happy about that.
- Monday: The plan is sanding and filling again (unless I still need to catch up on Saturday’s work).
- ...
After two weeks of work, only one room will be finished.
Conclusion / Self-reflection:
I have offered my help multiple times and am glad to assist when I can. Still, as a helper, I can’t drop everything; I have hobbies, family, and a job, too. Therefore, I can’t always help and – even though I’m a skilled craftsman – I need much more time than a professional, who probably would have finished filling and sanding all the rooms in three days.
What I want to say is:
Don’t overestimate the help you get from family, friends, and acquaintances. After work, progress is much slower, even when skilled people are involved. Also, helpers won’t keep doing it forever.
I hope my post helps some of you better understand this topic.
G
garfunkel17 Nov 2016 20:10Since I’ve been working quite hard for the past nine months, I can only agree. Most of my friends, with whom I spent every weekend goofing off for the last 10 years, stopped helping after 3 or 4 times because they already had other plans.
Of course, it’s understandable that the motivation ran out—I completely get it and wouldn’t handle it much differently myself.
By the way, helpers after work are almost more of a disadvantage. I quickly stopped arranging helpers because I noticed that tasks you can do alone get finished faster when you do them alone.
When helpers show up after work, there tends to be more chatting and beer drinking than actual work.
However, you can’t really expect your friends to work hard. I would find that inappropriate since it’s a favor between friends.
Anyone planning a bigger project should be clear from the start that they will have to do almost everything by themselves.
Of course, it’s understandable that the motivation ran out—I completely get it and wouldn’t handle it much differently myself.
By the way, helpers after work are almost more of a disadvantage. I quickly stopped arranging helpers because I noticed that tasks you can do alone get finished faster when you do them alone.
When helpers show up after work, there tends to be more chatting and beer drinking than actual work.
However, you can’t really expect your friends to work hard. I would find that inappropriate since it’s a favor between friends.
Anyone planning a bigger project should be clear from the start that they will have to do almost everything by themselves.
My father and I have each spent about 8 to 10 days of vacation so far doing DIY work ourselves.
In addition, for the past six months, we have been adding three weekend days per month.
We do a lot together and work hard, but I don’t involve friends.
We have prepared the site, done the rough staking, constructed the roof frame, installed the attic floor, worked on the garage roof, and constantly cleaned and tidied up ourselves. Insulating and lining the loft, insulation under the underfloor heating, and tiling in the basement are still planned as DIY tasks, plus the usual laminate flooring and painting at the end.
Even though it’s for myself and not for friends, and even though it’s rewarding to see progress and results, I notice how tiring it becomes over time.
In addition, for the past six months, we have been adding three weekend days per month.
We do a lot together and work hard, but I don’t involve friends.
We have prepared the site, done the rough staking, constructed the roof frame, installed the attic floor, worked on the garage roof, and constantly cleaned and tidied up ourselves. Insulating and lining the loft, insulation under the underfloor heating, and tiling in the basement are still planned as DIY tasks, plus the usual laminate flooring and painting at the end.
Even though it’s for myself and not for friends, and even though it’s rewarding to see progress and results, I notice how tiring it becomes over time.
I have been renovating for 5 months now, and I have to say it really takes a lot of energy. At the beginning, it’s no problem to spend 12-14 hours on the construction site over the weekend. After 4 weeks, 10 hours is the limit, and even that can be a struggle.
But if you take breaks now and then, or stop working for a week or two, you immediately feel more motivated again.
Usually, the family is around on weekends, which helps pull you along, and work keeps going.
Another challenge is staying motivated when there are no immediate results. For example, working all day but only managing to install one water pipe from the basement to the upper floor.
For a few weeks now, I’ve had a new job and don’t get home until 5:30 p.m. This means there’s usually no more work done after work. That has been an adjustment because before I used to be home by 3:30 p.m., and I could get a lot more done then.
But if you take breaks now and then, or stop working for a week or two, you immediately feel more motivated again.
Usually, the family is around on weekends, which helps pull you along, and work keeps going.
Another challenge is staying motivated when there are no immediate results. For example, working all day but only managing to install one water pipe from the basement to the upper floor.
For a few weeks now, I’ve had a new job and don’t get home until 5:30 p.m. This means there’s usually no more work done after work. That has been an adjustment because before I used to be home by 3:30 p.m., and I could get a lot more done then.
I also believe there should be a balanced mix of paid workers and friends. Personally, I would never ask a friend to help me several times a week. After all, it is my house, not theirs. Additionally, voluntary helpers should definitely always be kept happy with good food and drinks.
I’m doing almost everything myself here. The advantage is that since I’m not working, I don’t have to take any vacation time—I basically have a day off every day, so to speak.
Because I live on the construction site, I constantly have the work in front of me, including feeling guilty if I haven’t done anything for a while.
The problem is the work stoppage whenever materials run out, and I have to wait weeks until someone takes me to the hardware store.
Even when I need a third pair of hands, it takes ages for my husband to get motivated. When he’s on vacation, he wants to actually enjoy his time off... Progress is slow because of that. But by now, I’ve completed quite a bit that I can be proud of, and that makes the huge amount of work still left more bearable.
I don’t have any family helpers. I tried once, but it was a complete disaster.
The “kind gentleman” came, drank beer, and pushed me to clear away the pile of stones (1.3 tons (1.43 US tons)…) faster, saying I was slowing down the work. Before that, I was already being scolded for carrying a crate of drinks—it was supposedly not allowed because of the “pelvic ligaments”… Good thing a ton of stones is lighter. I can’t use a bossy person on site.
I’m estimating about 15 years from our shell stage to a ready-to-move-in house (although we have been living here since day one), and five years have already passed... so that seems about right.
Because I live on the construction site, I constantly have the work in front of me, including feeling guilty if I haven’t done anything for a while.
The problem is the work stoppage whenever materials run out, and I have to wait weeks until someone takes me to the hardware store.
Even when I need a third pair of hands, it takes ages for my husband to get motivated. When he’s on vacation, he wants to actually enjoy his time off... Progress is slow because of that. But by now, I’ve completed quite a bit that I can be proud of, and that makes the huge amount of work still left more bearable.
I don’t have any family helpers. I tried once, but it was a complete disaster.
The “kind gentleman” came, drank beer, and pushed me to clear away the pile of stones (1.3 tons (1.43 US tons)…) faster, saying I was slowing down the work. Before that, I was already being scolded for carrying a crate of drinks—it was supposedly not allowed because of the “pelvic ligaments”… Good thing a ton of stones is lighter. I can’t use a bossy person on site.
I’m estimating about 15 years from our shell stage to a ready-to-move-in house (although we have been living here since day one), and five years have already passed... so that seems about right.
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