ᐅ Dissatisfied with new construction due to other options now available
Created on: 27 Sep 2021 12:51
C
Crossy
I was just about to create a second account for this thread, but in the end, I decided against it. I’m not even sure if this thread belongs in the financing section. The purpose of this thread is not to show off; I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, and my dissatisfaction is growing. Maybe some of you have had similar experiences, and I would be interested to know what you did.
I’m unhappy with our house. Not because it has any serious defects. It suits our current life situation, we have enough space, and next spring the garden will finally be finished and look great. Like many others, during the planning and construction phase, we set priorities because of our budget and gave up on some nice extras. Now, nearly 2 years after the financing was completed, our financial situation has changed significantly.
When we arranged the financing, I was just returning to work after my second parental leave, filling in as a temporary replacement during another parental leave. I knew the job was poorly paid (considering the required qualifications), but the overall package worked well, and I was confident I could manage it alongside the children. I always believed I would earn more in the long term and that this was only a transition back to work. Nevertheless, we based our financing on our income at the time because the financial future, even with good prospects, was uncertain. Therefore, we chose a more conservative approach and did not rely on future salary increases or push our budget to the limit.
Now, almost 2 years later, our financial situation looks completely different. I’m still with the same company but no longer in a temporary replacement role—I’m now a department head, and I have increased my working hours to fulfill this leadership position. Meanwhile, my husband has changed employers and was promoted. All in all, our combined income is about $4,000 more per month. And now I am annoyed by all the little things in the house that, in hindsight, wouldn’t have been a problem for us. With an additional $100,000–150,000, our house would be my dream home.
Many things cannot be retrofitted easily or without significant effort. I wish my dissatisfaction would fade over time so I could enjoy our very nice house and our financial freedom, but mentally I am thinking about selling and looking at plots nearby. My husband is bothered by a few things in the house as well but is generally more content and mainly wary of the hassle involved in building a new house.
I’m unhappy with our house. Not because it has any serious defects. It suits our current life situation, we have enough space, and next spring the garden will finally be finished and look great. Like many others, during the planning and construction phase, we set priorities because of our budget and gave up on some nice extras. Now, nearly 2 years after the financing was completed, our financial situation has changed significantly.
When we arranged the financing, I was just returning to work after my second parental leave, filling in as a temporary replacement during another parental leave. I knew the job was poorly paid (considering the required qualifications), but the overall package worked well, and I was confident I could manage it alongside the children. I always believed I would earn more in the long term and that this was only a transition back to work. Nevertheless, we based our financing on our income at the time because the financial future, even with good prospects, was uncertain. Therefore, we chose a more conservative approach and did not rely on future salary increases or push our budget to the limit.
Now, almost 2 years later, our financial situation looks completely different. I’m still with the same company but no longer in a temporary replacement role—I’m now a department head, and I have increased my working hours to fulfill this leadership position. Meanwhile, my husband has changed employers and was promoted. All in all, our combined income is about $4,000 more per month. And now I am annoyed by all the little things in the house that, in hindsight, wouldn’t have been a problem for us. With an additional $100,000–150,000, our house would be my dream home.
Many things cannot be retrofitted easily or without significant effort. I wish my dissatisfaction would fade over time so I could enjoy our very nice house and our financial freedom, but mentally I am thinking about selling and looking at plots nearby. My husband is bothered by a few things in the house as well but is generally more content and mainly wary of the hassle involved in building a new house.
guckuck2 schrieb:
Attention, here’s another theory: Are you perhaps feeling a bit bored, in the sense of lacking goals and challenges?Are you basically suggesting the homebuilder’s version of postpartum depression?https://www.instagram.com/11antgmxde/
https://www.linkedin.com/company/bauen-jetzt/
Schimi179128 Sep 2021 13:10It’s crazy what some people consider “problems” 🙂
The fact is that a house – or material things in general – never really brings lasting happiness. We’ve already discussed this topic.
Perhaps it makes sense to wait with building a new house until the children have moved out? Then the new home could actually be adapted to the changed living situation.
When we moved into our house, we only moved about 10km (6 miles) away. That was 18 months ago. Our child’s old contacts are still around – probably because the school didn’t change – but in some respects, the intensity and number of contacts have decreased. On the other hand, new ones have formed since there are opportunities in the new town (volunteer fire brigade for youth!) to make new acquaintances. It also depends on the child.
The fact is that a house – or material things in general – never really brings lasting happiness. We’ve already discussed this topic.
Perhaps it makes sense to wait with building a new house until the children have moved out? Then the new home could actually be adapted to the changed living situation.
Markiso schrieb:
...
Almost all parents seem to face some “problems” of this kind... joining a new group at kindergarten is rarely completely easy. Maintaining old contacts is more difficult?
...
When we moved into our house, we only moved about 10km (6 miles) away. That was 18 months ago. Our child’s old contacts are still around – probably because the school didn’t change – but in some respects, the intensity and number of contacts have decreased. On the other hand, new ones have formed since there are opportunities in the new town (volunteer fire brigade for youth!) to make new acquaintances. It also depends on the child.
11ant schrieb:
So are you basically suggesting a homebuilder’s version of postpartum depression?I wouldn’t put it quite like that. The idea was more that in the previous years you were moving from one project to another (yes, sorry, I actually consider having children a project), and now things have finally calmed down. Some enjoy that, while others get bored. Undoubtedly, it is a turning point, unless you immediately start the next project. Finding new goals and purpose isn’t easy. Sometimes it also requires patience (considering the children’s environment) before something new takes shape.
The ideas I want to implement are not just random thoughts that came to me spontaneously; they have been wishes since the planning phase 3-4 years ago. I don’t see upgrading the house on the same level as buying the hundredth pair of shoes. Of course, it’s consumption, but “more durable.”
Buying an expensive family SUV for over 50,000 is not appealing to me. We are perfectly happy with our family car and the Golf as a second vehicle.
Everyone has different priorities. Our standard of living is certainly not bad, but I reject the assumption that we blindly indulge in consumption. Our luxury is mainly having a cleaning and ironing service and, in the future, a gardener twice a year, as we try to buy as much free time as possible. Certainly, I buy higher quality items nowadays and am already looking forward to the new wardrobe made by a cabinetmaker, but we still have countless pieces of furniture from our student days. Of course, we are gradually replacing them, but I’m not aimlessly running into the next furniture store to buy everything new. It evolves over time.
We both had long educational paths with several degree programs, etc. Therefore, until 2.5 years ago, we were never dual earners. One of us was always still in (additional) studies or on parental leave. This also means that we always had to—and were able to—manage our money carefully.
Of course, not everything should go into the house. Building a growing investment portfolio also has its advantages.
We are aware that we have been very lucky in life so far. I don’t believe that what we have achieved is solely based on our own “effort,” but that, for example, I happened to be at the right company at the right time and was also lucky to meet people who wanted to invest in me and take a small risk. I can also reassure you that I am not unhappy ;-) and truly appreciate my wonderful children, my dream partner, my equal relationship, and my job.
Moving isn’t an option, by the way. I won’t put my children through a move again.
Currently, my thoughts are moving toward adding a heated conservatory/glasshouse, remodeling the living/dining area with a fireplace and larger windows, plus a new kitchen. But we probably won’t tackle this in the near future and may wait another 10-15 years. We are looking into installing air conditioning—that will probably happen sooner.
Still, I find it nice that some people seem to have similar ideas and can relate to my thought process.
Buying an expensive family SUV for over 50,000 is not appealing to me. We are perfectly happy with our family car and the Golf as a second vehicle.
Everyone has different priorities. Our standard of living is certainly not bad, but I reject the assumption that we blindly indulge in consumption. Our luxury is mainly having a cleaning and ironing service and, in the future, a gardener twice a year, as we try to buy as much free time as possible. Certainly, I buy higher quality items nowadays and am already looking forward to the new wardrobe made by a cabinetmaker, but we still have countless pieces of furniture from our student days. Of course, we are gradually replacing them, but I’m not aimlessly running into the next furniture store to buy everything new. It evolves over time.
We both had long educational paths with several degree programs, etc. Therefore, until 2.5 years ago, we were never dual earners. One of us was always still in (additional) studies or on parental leave. This also means that we always had to—and were able to—manage our money carefully.
Of course, not everything should go into the house. Building a growing investment portfolio also has its advantages.
We are aware that we have been very lucky in life so far. I don’t believe that what we have achieved is solely based on our own “effort,” but that, for example, I happened to be at the right company at the right time and was also lucky to meet people who wanted to invest in me and take a small risk. I can also reassure you that I am not unhappy ;-) and truly appreciate my wonderful children, my dream partner, my equal relationship, and my job.
Moving isn’t an option, by the way. I won’t put my children through a move again.
Currently, my thoughts are moving toward adding a heated conservatory/glasshouse, remodeling the living/dining area with a fireplace and larger windows, plus a new kitchen. But we probably won’t tackle this in the near future and may wait another 10-15 years. We are looking into installing air conditioning—that will probably happen sooner.
Still, I find it nice that some people seem to have similar ideas and can relate to my thought process.
Schimi179128 Sep 2021 13:21guckuck2 schrieb:
I wouldn’t put it that way. The theory was more that in the previous years you went from one project to the next (yes, sorry, I consider having children a project) and now some kind of calm is settling in.
One person enjoys it, another gets bored.
... Calm sets in when there are children? ... 😀
That’s completely new to me 🙄
guckuck2 schrieb:
Undoubtedly, it is a turning point, as long as you don’t immediately start the next project. Finding new goals and new purpose,Well, there is already something challenging with the project "connect children with playmates" :-)Schimi1791 schrieb:
Does it get quiet once children are around? ... 😀
That’s completely new to me Exactly, Reinhard Mey already sang this (when I was still a child): "Not a quiet minute has been possible for me since then; and it will probably continue like this until I’m one hundred years old" 🙂https://www.instagram.com/11antgmxde/
https://www.linkedin.com/company/bauen-jetzt/
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