ᐅ Dissatisfied with new construction due to other options now available
Created on: 27 Sep 2021 12:51
C
Crossy
I was just about to create a second account for this thread, but in the end, I decided against it. I’m not even sure if this thread belongs in the financing section. The purpose of this thread is not to show off; I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, and my dissatisfaction is growing. Maybe some of you have had similar experiences, and I would be interested to know what you did.
I’m unhappy with our house. Not because it has any serious defects. It suits our current life situation, we have enough space, and next spring the garden will finally be finished and look great. Like many others, during the planning and construction phase, we set priorities because of our budget and gave up on some nice extras. Now, nearly 2 years after the financing was completed, our financial situation has changed significantly.
When we arranged the financing, I was just returning to work after my second parental leave, filling in as a temporary replacement during another parental leave. I knew the job was poorly paid (considering the required qualifications), but the overall package worked well, and I was confident I could manage it alongside the children. I always believed I would earn more in the long term and that this was only a transition back to work. Nevertheless, we based our financing on our income at the time because the financial future, even with good prospects, was uncertain. Therefore, we chose a more conservative approach and did not rely on future salary increases or push our budget to the limit.
Now, almost 2 years later, our financial situation looks completely different. I’m still with the same company but no longer in a temporary replacement role—I’m now a department head, and I have increased my working hours to fulfill this leadership position. Meanwhile, my husband has changed employers and was promoted. All in all, our combined income is about $4,000 more per month. And now I am annoyed by all the little things in the house that, in hindsight, wouldn’t have been a problem for us. With an additional $100,000–150,000, our house would be my dream home.
Many things cannot be retrofitted easily or without significant effort. I wish my dissatisfaction would fade over time so I could enjoy our very nice house and our financial freedom, but mentally I am thinking about selling and looking at plots nearby. My husband is bothered by a few things in the house as well but is generally more content and mainly wary of the hassle involved in building a new house.
I’m unhappy with our house. Not because it has any serious defects. It suits our current life situation, we have enough space, and next spring the garden will finally be finished and look great. Like many others, during the planning and construction phase, we set priorities because of our budget and gave up on some nice extras. Now, nearly 2 years after the financing was completed, our financial situation has changed significantly.
When we arranged the financing, I was just returning to work after my second parental leave, filling in as a temporary replacement during another parental leave. I knew the job was poorly paid (considering the required qualifications), but the overall package worked well, and I was confident I could manage it alongside the children. I always believed I would earn more in the long term and that this was only a transition back to work. Nevertheless, we based our financing on our income at the time because the financial future, even with good prospects, was uncertain. Therefore, we chose a more conservative approach and did not rely on future salary increases or push our budget to the limit.
Now, almost 2 years later, our financial situation looks completely different. I’m still with the same company but no longer in a temporary replacement role—I’m now a department head, and I have increased my working hours to fulfill this leadership position. Meanwhile, my husband has changed employers and was promoted. All in all, our combined income is about $4,000 more per month. And now I am annoyed by all the little things in the house that, in hindsight, wouldn’t have been a problem for us. With an additional $100,000–150,000, our house would be my dream home.
Many things cannot be retrofitted easily or without significant effort. I wish my dissatisfaction would fade over time so I could enjoy our very nice house and our financial freedom, but mentally I am thinking about selling and looking at plots nearby. My husband is bothered by a few things in the house as well but is generally more content and mainly wary of the hassle involved in building a new house.
Let me put it this way: "Easy come, easy go" happens to many people when a lot of money suddenly comes in. Nothing seems good enough anymore, nothing seems impossible. I went through that phase in my early twenties. Even as a single person, you can easily spend five figures a month without much left over.
I realized it doesn’t bring happiness or satisfaction—quite the opposite. I no longer recognized myself. And now? It doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. No sporty Mercedes, no, it’s a Golf Variant instead, no designer clothes, nothing.
What I want to say is that inner contentment does not come from consuming luxury goods.
It’s really unfortunate about your children. There really seems to be something to the difference between village and city life. My sister was surprised by how things are here.
Actively maintain contact. Stay persistent. Try inviting the children your kids play with over. Leave a note with your phone number in the cloakroom of the child in question. I did that too. Even I don’t know all the parents around here anymore, and yes, COVID-19 hasn’t made it any easier.
I realized it doesn’t bring happiness or satisfaction—quite the opposite. I no longer recognized myself. And now? It doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. No sporty Mercedes, no, it’s a Golf Variant instead, no designer clothes, nothing.
What I want to say is that inner contentment does not come from consuming luxury goods.
It’s really unfortunate about your children. There really seems to be something to the difference between village and city life. My sister was surprised by how things are here.
Actively maintain contact. Stay persistent. Try inviting the children your kids play with over. Leave a note with your phone number in the cloakroom of the child in question. I did that too. Even I don’t know all the parents around here anymore, and yes, COVID-19 hasn’t made it any easier.
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Ypsi aus NI28 Sep 2021 09:19I find it quite interesting how some people here almost suspect a hidden midlife crisis 🤨
I believe some questions are exactly as they are asked!
I have quite often experienced that people advised us not to build too cheaply. They face the same "problem" as the original poster. Money in the bank, but the house cannot accommodate all their wishes!
Just keep looking for a plot of land, and if you end up building a new house, you won’t be starting from scratch again. Your current house (with real experience!) is the foundation. Let everything be done professionally, no self-management, reduce the stress!
I understand your thoughts!
I believe some questions are exactly as they are asked!
I have quite often experienced that people advised us not to build too cheaply. They face the same "problem" as the original poster. Money in the bank, but the house cannot accommodate all their wishes!
Just keep looking for a plot of land, and if you end up building a new house, you won’t be starting from scratch again. Your current house (with real experience!) is the foundation. Let everything be done professionally, no self-management, reduce the stress!
I understand your thoughts!
Well, anyone who wants to put themselves through the stress of building again after such a short time over such 'minor issues' has more motivation than the actual 'defects' in the house warrant. It’s not as if the house from @Crossy is some kind of shanty.
A sense of satisfaction comes from within, not from external factors. There is always something bigger, nicer, better.
A sense of satisfaction comes from within, not from external factors. There is always something bigger, nicer, better.
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Pinkiponk28 Sep 2021 10:16Crossy schrieb:
...I completely understand what you’re saying and still believe it’s a good idea to look for another plot of land and/or a move-in-ready dream house. In my opinion, you and your husband are successful partly because you don’t stand still—you keep searching for better options and improvements, take action when something isn’t quite right, and aren’t afraid of change. I think these are great qualities both professionally and personally, and they are now showing in your approach to the house. There’s really no reason not to improve your living situation if you have the chance. And why would you want to endure that nagging feeling of dissatisfaction for years if it doesn’t have to be that way? (By the way, I’m different—more of a Smurf type. ;-) )
I hope it’s okay that I shared these thoughts even though we don’t know each other personally. I have friends who have been in similar situations before and found success. If I was too forward, please forgive me.
@Pinkiponk
Consumption is not about moving forward or striving for professional success, nor about standing still.
Consumption is often a substitute and a distraction.
Just ask the bankers here. How many people put on a flashy show but have an empty bank account? How many wealthy and professionally successful people live relatively modestly? Excluding the nouveaux riches who feel the need to show off.
This is about a different kind of kitchen – the current one isn’t from the discount corner of the home improvement store, lacking essential features like flush trims. That’s about appearance, not even function.
Do the children gain more social contacts because of it? Does it somehow transport them back to their old environment?
Consumption is not about moving forward or striving for professional success, nor about standing still.
Consumption is often a substitute and a distraction.
Just ask the bankers here. How many people put on a flashy show but have an empty bank account? How many wealthy and professionally successful people live relatively modestly? Excluding the nouveaux riches who feel the need to show off.
This is about a different kind of kitchen – the current one isn’t from the discount corner of the home improvement store, lacking essential features like flush trims. That’s about appearance, not even function.
Do the children gain more social contacts because of it? Does it somehow transport them back to their old environment?