ᐅ Psychology of Buying / Overcoming Obstacles

Unsure schrieb:

The main reason is our child, with regard to the safety of a stable environment. We would also like to arrange the apartment according to our needs. It’s quite nice and mostly neutral here, but among other things, the bathroom unfortunately is stuck in a wild 1990s design. The windows and so on will have to be replaced at some point as well, and in general, I’m not very eager to invest money here if it’s not necessary. Moreover, I would like to know, besides my family, what I am working for. The money accumulates (good for retirement savings), but it’s not something you can really “touch.”

... Those are already some good starting points.
What are your future plans regarding children? Will you stay with just one?
When you imagine yourselves as a family in 15 years, where do you see yourselves? In an apartment or a house? What would be your ideal situation (completely independent of the fact that things can, of course, go wrong)?
And then the question of reality: How do things look financially and in terms of property ownership? Is building or buying a house even an option, or is it already ruled out because of income?

@saralina87 Thanks for your questions. We’re still planning on having just one child, and we’ve already gotten through the first challenging phase (3 years old). I myself grew up moving around a lot and mostly living in rental apartments, so I’m somewhat lacking in imagination when it comes to houses. My wife grew up in a house, so she’s leaning more towards buying one. Currently, we live in a place that’s similar to a house, with multiple entrances and allowed garden use, etc. So I would say I see us living in a house. At least it would certainly be a bit of an adjustment to live in a building with more than six units. I’m also more of a “loner” myself, and I imagine constant coordination with others might be tiring, if necessary.

Financially, we’re in a good position. A loan up to our limit of 400,000 euros (about 430,000 US dollars) plus six-figure equity would be feasible without causing major strain — at least based on my current understanding. Condominium ownership keeps coming up as a topic, probably due to less of a need for prior experience, more predictable costs, the perceived protection of the community (at least in the beginning), and possibly a better location because of job security (to avoid very long commutes in a worst-case scenario).

Unsure schrieb:

I can’t seem to get a hold on this feeling of uncertainty and so on. Am I the only one dealing with this?

You are probably quite in line with the general trend. My wife was also unsure about buying something without having experienced it first. She was worried whether she would feel comfortable in the new house. I had no problem making decisions. I have made so many wrong decisions before. None of them were a matter of life or death. I have learned to cope with wrong decisions and to benefit from the right ones. By the way, to quote loosely from Watzlawick: You cannot not decide – because not acting is also a decision with consequences.

Crossy schrieb:

This reflects not only a lack of trust in the construction industry but also a lack of trust in your own decisions.

Agreed.

Unsure schrieb:

The main reason is our child, regarding the safety of a stable environment.

The stable environment children need is provided by present and loving parents. Whether this close relationship exists in a straw hut, a castle, or on a journey is entirely secondary.

@hampshire thanks for your contribution – I can’t fully understand the phrase "No trust in one’s own decisions." Do you mean a lack of confidence in one’s own expertise in this area? If so, then yes!

By stable environment, I meant that the child might not have to change schools or lose their future circle of friends due to a move. I’ve experienced this myself before; it’s not pleasant.

Unsure schrieb:

@saralina87 Thanks for your questions. We are sticking with one child, and we've already gotten through the first challenging phase (3 years old). I myself grew up moving around quite a bit and lived only in rental apartments, so I lack a bit of imagination. My wife grew up in a house and therefore tends to prefer a house. At the moment, we live in a place similar to a house, with several entrances and permitted garden use, etc. So, I would say I see us living in a house. At least moving into a 6+ unit multi-family building would definitely be a bit of an adjustment. I’m also more of a "lone wolf," and continuous coordination with others sounds potentially exhausting, if necessary.

We are in a good financial position. So a loan up to the maximum comfortable limit of 400,000 euros (about 440,000 US dollars) plus six-figure equity would be feasible without pushing ourselves too hard - at least as far as I understand. The condominium (ETW) is probably always a topic because of less required experience, predictable costs, the belief in community protection (at least initially), and possibly a better location due to job security (to avoid extreme commuting in the worst case).

So, there is definitely a tendency.
And you say it yourself – it’s the belief in a community, but not much more than that.
You’re financially well prepared and your family planning is complete – so you could certainly consider: What is the absolute worst-case scenario if you find a suitable plot or house tomorrow and just go for it?

Unsure schrieb:

@saralina87 Thanks for your questions. We are sticking with one child and have just gotten through the first challenging phase (3 years old). I grew up moving around a lot and living only in rental apartments, so I lack some imagination in this regard. My wife grew up in a house, so she leans more towards a house. Currently, we also live in a place similar to a house, with multiple entrances and permitted garden use, etc. So I would say I see us living in a house. Moving into a building with 6 or more units would definitely be an adjustment. I’m also more of a "lone wolf," and continuous coordination with others might be tiring, if needed.

Financially, we are in a good position. A loan up to the maximum comfortable limit of 400,000 euros (about 430,000 USD) plus six-figure equity is possible without putting too much strain on ourselves—at least based on my understanding. Condominiums are often brought up though, due to lower required experience, more predictable costs, the perceived protection of the community (at least initially), and possibly a better location because of job security (to avoid excessive commuting in a worst-case scenario).

A house in Frankfurt can be tight with that budget. But you know that yourself.