ᐅ Living in the Parents' Attic Converted into a Living Space, Now Building a House???
Created on: 22 May 2013 16:54
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TimoWiesbadenT
TimoWiesbaden22 May 2013 16:54Hello,
I’m Timo, 26 years old, married, and without children—but… with a dog :>
Six years ago, I spent two years converting my parents’ attic. Before that, it was just a shell, and I finished the apartment myself through my own labor. I also financed it entirely from my savings and monthly income.
The apartment is about 115 m² (1,237 sq ft) and was finished by me with a lot of attention to detail. I only used high-quality materials, and so my entire salary went into it every month…
But now, I’m starting to feel trapped here. There are frequent arguments between my wife and me and my parents, and I often hear things like “This is our property.” I can’t do anything in the garden, and overall, I don’t really have any say.
I would love to have a fenced yard so my dog could run around alone in the garden sometimes… but I have no control here at all.
In hindsight, I regret that I finished the apartment, especially since thousands of euros and many hours of work have gone into it.
What should I do now??? Just thinking about moving away hurts so much it makes me want to cry… It’s unimaginable for me to leave this beautiful apartment behind. Besides, I don’t have to pay rent—only the utility costs… It really doesn’t get cheaper than this. But I believe I won’t be happy here in the long run…
What should I do???
I’m Timo, 26 years old, married, and without children—but… with a dog :>
Six years ago, I spent two years converting my parents’ attic. Before that, it was just a shell, and I finished the apartment myself through my own labor. I also financed it entirely from my savings and monthly income.
The apartment is about 115 m² (1,237 sq ft) and was finished by me with a lot of attention to detail. I only used high-quality materials, and so my entire salary went into it every month…
But now, I’m starting to feel trapped here. There are frequent arguments between my wife and me and my parents, and I often hear things like “This is our property.” I can’t do anything in the garden, and overall, I don’t really have any say.
I would love to have a fenced yard so my dog could run around alone in the garden sometimes… but I have no control here at all.
In hindsight, I regret that I finished the apartment, especially since thousands of euros and many hours of work have gone into it.
What should I do now??? Just thinking about moving away hurts so much it makes me want to cry… It’s unimaginable for me to leave this beautiful apartment behind. Besides, I don’t have to pay rent—only the utility costs… It really doesn’t get cheaper than this. But I believe I won’t be happy here in the long run…
What should I do???
@ Timo
I can understand that well.
We have a similar situation.
Our neighbor, ex-brother-in-law, and good friend all in one person, invested all his money into one half of a house owned by my mother-in-law and me. After that, my sister-in-law left him, and now he’s living alone in a 160m² (1,722 sq ft) apartment and is currently disputing with my mother-in-law through lawyers about whether he still has to pay rent for something he himself renovated or not.
Back then, we also considered finishing a 160m² (1,722 sq ft) apartment in the same house. Unlike the ex-brother-in-law, I wanted to have contracts in place or turn it into a condominium-type ownership that could be purchased. There was no way around that, though. So, we gave it up and, with limited financial means, only renovated half of the space. And that turned out to be for the best.
Even though my mother-in-law is not living there permanently, there is still frequent conflict, so now we plan to build our own house and hopefully move out next year.
Personally, I would eventually break down or end up in jail if I had to live permanently on the same property as my mother-in-law.
That’s why it’s hard to give advice from the outside in this situation.
Unfortunately, for the topic of contracts or something similar, it’s already too late for you.
Would it be possible to rent out the apartment so you at least get some return on the renovation costs?
If not, do as we did: save enough equity during the "rent-free period" and then look for or build your own place.
See the renovation as experience gained for your real project.
I can understand that well.
We have a similar situation.
Our neighbor, ex-brother-in-law, and good friend all in one person, invested all his money into one half of a house owned by my mother-in-law and me. After that, my sister-in-law left him, and now he’s living alone in a 160m² (1,722 sq ft) apartment and is currently disputing with my mother-in-law through lawyers about whether he still has to pay rent for something he himself renovated or not.
Back then, we also considered finishing a 160m² (1,722 sq ft) apartment in the same house. Unlike the ex-brother-in-law, I wanted to have contracts in place or turn it into a condominium-type ownership that could be purchased. There was no way around that, though. So, we gave it up and, with limited financial means, only renovated half of the space. And that turned out to be for the best.
Even though my mother-in-law is not living there permanently, there is still frequent conflict, so now we plan to build our own house and hopefully move out next year.
Personally, I would eventually break down or end up in jail if I had to live permanently on the same property as my mother-in-law.
That’s why it’s hard to give advice from the outside in this situation.
Unfortunately, for the topic of contracts or something similar, it’s already too late for you.
Would it be possible to rent out the apartment so you at least get some return on the renovation costs?
If not, do as we did: save enough equity during the "rent-free period" and then look for or build your own place.
See the renovation as experience gained for your real project.
If I were you, I’d either have to accept the situation or bite the bullet. Have you specifically talked to your parents about feeling uncomfortable, or is your relationship not very good? Maybe you’re still living rent-free for a few years and saving money for your own house. When you have a goal in mind, it’s not so bad to live in a less-than-ideal situation. You need to move away from “I feel uncomfortable here, but I don’t know if things will ever change” and towards making a decision—no matter which direction that decision takes.
TimoWiesbaden schrieb:
But I think, in the long run, I won’t be happy here....
What am I supposed to do??? Hello Timo, your answer is already in your question. Since you currently lack legal standing and support from your parents, it may be time to start considering change. Learning the hard way is always difficult and costly. It hurts at first, but eventually, you realize that separation can lead to more friendship than clinging does. This might also apply to your wife. Perhaps there could be a fresh start for both of you if there aren’t controlling parents nearby. Maybe your parents would agree to buy you out if they can rent your apartment to someone else. Part of gaining independence is creating some distance. It might be possible to discuss this with your parents—hopefully, they understand the situation. However, it’s important to approach this diplomatically to avoid hurt feelings.
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