ᐅ Garden Photos Chat Corner

mh maybe wait until summer is over. On my wall coping, there are some plants that haven’t taken root and were too dry in spring. So much for drought resistance.
With as many plants as you have, it’s no longer just a matter of 5 euros and planting a new one.

haydee schrieb:

Maybe wait until after summer. On my wall cap, some plants didn’t take root and found it too dry in spring. So much for drought resistance.
With as many plants as you have, it’s not just a matter of 5 euros and planting a new one anymore.

The rock garden is connected to the irrigation system. During establishment, I will water it quite frequently, then once everything has taken root, only during extended dry periods. But not everything will survive for sure.

Snowy36 schrieb:

I completely understand; it would annoy me too. But you have to expose yourself to it—that’s what exposure therapy is about. Play some quiet, pleasant music yourself and look out into your garden. Otherwise, you’ll just fixate on the problem and your frustration with the neighbor, making it so present in your mind that you only focus on it.
Do you have any kind of privacy screen or barrier toward them?

Adding to the points above, which I agree with, is it possible to plant a hedge along your property line with the neighbor? That can also help absorb some of the noise. You probably won’t be able to change the neighbor, and not using your garden anymore is also not a solution.

Most likely, your (negative) focus is already so strongly on the neighbor’s music that the noise disturbance seems worse than it actually is. However, perceptions—especially when it comes to sound—cannot simply be dismissed or ignored. As I said, it would definitely be worth considering adjusting your garden design to accommodate the existing conditions (better that than not using the garden at all), creating your own pleasant sound environment (for example, your own music or a louder water feature), or even thinking about using noise-canceling headphones.

If none of this helps and the irritation starts to seriously affect your well-being, then you might really need to consider whether selling your current home in favor of a property that suits you better is an option. But that should truly be the very, very last resort.

In a similar situation, what really helped me was seriously considering selling the house. It may sound strange, but once I felt that I DIDN’T HAVE to stay there, that I could leave or move out, I felt a lot better.

The thought of having to endure it for 40 years really wore me down.

Building a gabion wall – neighbor gone.

Yes, it’s understandable and relatable, but if someone already doesn’t want to use their garden at 45 dB and doesn’t even want their own music (which was discussed a few posts earlier) and is aware that it’s probably a hypersensitivity, then what’s the point of beating around the bush?
There is no physical solution for that. I advocate exposure and positive engagement. So go outside and do something you enjoy that requires concentration. This will shift your focus. Start with very short periods and gradually increase the time.
Eventually, a habituation effect will occur. It has to; otherwise, you simply won’t be able to use your garden. If needed, seek professional help for that.

The neighbor will also not understand why they shouldn’t be allowed to listen to music at all or only so quietly that they can’t hear it themselves in their own garden. I also wonder, aren’t there any children playing loudly nearby, lawn mowers, and so on?
Doesn’t all of that bother you? To me, this points to a pathological over-focusing on this one supposed disturbance.

I’m not saying you’re overreacting — the experience is real and difficult. But there are effective methods to handle it that don’t involve hedges or gabions.

kati1337 schrieb:

Lately, I have completely lost interest in the garden. Regardless of the weather, we mostly stay indoors. As soon as the sun comes out and I open my patio door, I either hear country music or techno blasting from the neighbor’s property. Usually, I just turn around and go back inside.
I’m starting to feel like I don’t know what else to do.

I’m really sorry to hear that you’re struggling with the new living situation. Since you can’t change your neighbors and have no control over them, and structural measures won’t restore your need for peace, there are only two options: avoid the problem (stay indoors, move) or work on your own attitude toward the situation. Self-management can achieve more than you might expect in such a sensitive situation. Consider seeking help if necessary. That shows strength and self-determination.