ᐅ Semi-detached house – Troubles with the neighbor

Created on: 15 Apr 2020 15:43
S
Sandrasix
Hello dear members,

I discovered your lovely forum thanks to Google. Unfortunately, as is often the case, a problem has brought me here.

We are building an extension onto an existing semi-detached house in Baden-Württemberg.
We are building on a slab foundation. The friendly neighbor built his half with a basement.
We live 70 kilometers (about 43 miles) away from the construction site.
Therefore, with both of us working and having two children, we cannot be at the site all the time.
Yesterday morning, the workers began setting the formwork for the slab foundation.
When I arrived at the site yesterday, my friendly neighbor was already there waiting for me.
He yelled at me quite loudly and was extremely angry.
He said that the slab foundation towards his side was insulated only with Styrodur (extruded polystyrene).
One of the workers tried to explain that in addition to the Styrodur, a 4 cm (1.6 inch) soundproofing wall would be installed along the house.
Still, he did not calm down.
He just kept yelling. He said he would take pictures and that he would refuse to pay.

We have no intention of demanding any money from him.
I was really shocked!!!

Actually, he should be worried, since he built 3 cm (1.2 inches) of his house’s total length over our property boundary.

What is the legal situation here?
I told my husband about it.
He wanted to see a lawyer right away.
For me, maintaining peace with the neighbor is more important.

Please excuse my spelling mistakes and my lack of knowledge. I have two children and need to keep them happy at the same time.

Thank you,
Sandra
S
Snowy36
17 Apr 2020 08:31
But first, make sure the soundproofing is properly done, no matter who ends up paying for it... Your neighbor seems to be concerned about that, and if mistakes are made and they can hear you through the thin wall, then good luck in your new house—it will be pure hell.
kaho67417 Apr 2020 08:42
If someone shouted at me like that, I would listen for a while and after 10 minutes just say, "Sorry, what was that? I wasn’t paying attention."
T
tumaa
17 Apr 2020 09:03
Sandrasix schrieb:

But he just yelled. I had my children with me, so I stayed calm.

Regarding the yelling
1) from a man to a woman = antisocial behavior
2) from a man to young children = antisocial behavior
3) you responded perfectly

I also had a problem with my new neighbor, who was constantly spreading stories behind my back and acted like the local sheriff.

First, I confronted him by phone, then face-to-face. My message was clear: does he want a mode of terror or peace/harmony?!

Now every time he sees me, it’s “Good morning, Mr. ...”

Everyone deserves respect. Some don’t care, so show your principles, try to accommodate them, and if they don’t want to, then let them go to hell—simple as that!

PS: My brother built a house; he has children. The neighbors (an older couple) immediately sold their house. In the end, it turned out that my brother’s children were to blame. Nothing had happened before.
My brother and his children couldn’t even imagine it; they weren’t given the chance to address it. Some situations you just can’t fix.

Good luck!!
kaho67417 Apr 2020 09:19
tumaa schrieb:

My brother built a house; he has children. The neighbors (an older couple) immediately sold their house.

Cool, we’ll probably have a new neighbor soon too. If they have kids, we’ll build a 3m (10 feet) wall right away.
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Altai
17 Apr 2020 09:21
tumaa schrieb:

PS: My brother built a house, he has children, and the neighbors (an elderly couple) immediately sold their house. In the end, it turned out that my brother’s children were to blame. Nothing had happened beforehand.
My brother and his children couldn’t even imagine it, he wasn’t given the chance to understand, sometimes you just can’t help certain people.

Unbelievable. That such people really exist... Astonishing.

I think the advice to present a united front, where the man supports the woman, is really very good. Otherwise, while there are some stubborn individuals, they are rare. With one of my neighbors (an older gentleman), things didn’t go well at first either. We eventually talked when he asked, and since then it’s been calm; we greet each other and exchange a few words. I don’t have to be overly close to him. At the time, he explained that between the house, garden, and his ill wife, it can be overwhelming, and that sometimes leads to overreactions. I really appreciated his honesty in admitting that.

I hope you’ll still be able to reach a reasonable relationship.
S
Steven
17 Apr 2020 09:26
Altai schrieb:

Amazing. I can’t believe people like that really exist...

Hello,

I completely understand.
I love children too, but I also value my peace and quiet.
My solution: behind my property (with an unobstructed view of the Mediterranean) there is 6,000m² (approximately 1.5 acres) of garden land. As soon as it goes on the market (I am already in contact with the owner), I will buy it to prevent anyone from building houses there. My peace is worth that to me.

Steven