ᐅ Dissatisfied with new construction due to other options now available
Created on: 27 Sep 2021 12:51
C
Crossy
I was just about to create a second account for this thread, but in the end, I decided against it. I’m not even sure if this thread belongs in the financing section. The purpose of this thread is not to show off; I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, and my dissatisfaction is growing. Maybe some of you have had similar experiences, and I would be interested to know what you did.
I’m unhappy with our house. Not because it has any serious defects. It suits our current life situation, we have enough space, and next spring the garden will finally be finished and look great. Like many others, during the planning and construction phase, we set priorities because of our budget and gave up on some nice extras. Now, nearly 2 years after the financing was completed, our financial situation has changed significantly.
When we arranged the financing, I was just returning to work after my second parental leave, filling in as a temporary replacement during another parental leave. I knew the job was poorly paid (considering the required qualifications), but the overall package worked well, and I was confident I could manage it alongside the children. I always believed I would earn more in the long term and that this was only a transition back to work. Nevertheless, we based our financing on our income at the time because the financial future, even with good prospects, was uncertain. Therefore, we chose a more conservative approach and did not rely on future salary increases or push our budget to the limit.
Now, almost 2 years later, our financial situation looks completely different. I’m still with the same company but no longer in a temporary replacement role—I’m now a department head, and I have increased my working hours to fulfill this leadership position. Meanwhile, my husband has changed employers and was promoted. All in all, our combined income is about $4,000 more per month. And now I am annoyed by all the little things in the house that, in hindsight, wouldn’t have been a problem for us. With an additional $100,000–150,000, our house would be my dream home.
Many things cannot be retrofitted easily or without significant effort. I wish my dissatisfaction would fade over time so I could enjoy our very nice house and our financial freedom, but mentally I am thinking about selling and looking at plots nearby. My husband is bothered by a few things in the house as well but is generally more content and mainly wary of the hassle involved in building a new house.
I’m unhappy with our house. Not because it has any serious defects. It suits our current life situation, we have enough space, and next spring the garden will finally be finished and look great. Like many others, during the planning and construction phase, we set priorities because of our budget and gave up on some nice extras. Now, nearly 2 years after the financing was completed, our financial situation has changed significantly.
When we arranged the financing, I was just returning to work after my second parental leave, filling in as a temporary replacement during another parental leave. I knew the job was poorly paid (considering the required qualifications), but the overall package worked well, and I was confident I could manage it alongside the children. I always believed I would earn more in the long term and that this was only a transition back to work. Nevertheless, we based our financing on our income at the time because the financial future, even with good prospects, was uncertain. Therefore, we chose a more conservative approach and did not rely on future salary increases or push our budget to the limit.
Now, almost 2 years later, our financial situation looks completely different. I’m still with the same company but no longer in a temporary replacement role—I’m now a department head, and I have increased my working hours to fulfill this leadership position. Meanwhile, my husband has changed employers and was promoted. All in all, our combined income is about $4,000 more per month. And now I am annoyed by all the little things in the house that, in hindsight, wouldn’t have been a problem for us. With an additional $100,000–150,000, our house would be my dream home.
Many things cannot be retrofitted easily or without significant effort. I wish my dissatisfaction would fade over time so I could enjoy our very nice house and our financial freedom, but mentally I am thinking about selling and looking at plots nearby. My husband is bothered by a few things in the house as well but is generally more content and mainly wary of the hassle involved in building a new house.
Schimi1791 schrieb:
Then I guess we still need a cook (m/f/d) and/or someone for the shopping ... 🙂I like cooking myself, and I have a husband for the shopping :pP
pagoni202030 Sep 2021 09:59guckuck2 schrieb:
Tell me more.
Honestly, no. That dream of an early retirement age isn’t for me. I’m honestly too young for that, my job is enjoyable and gives my life meaning. If that’s really important to you, reduce your expenses now instead of just saving, so you can retire earlier in 20 years. I totally agree.
The often-celebrated early retirement or life without work is seen as a path to happiness, similar to emigrating to some supposedly perfect country... Someone who leads an unsatisfactory life during their working years won’t suddenly have a different experience in retirement if they don’t change THEMSELVES. The neighbor’s grass is always greener...
I once read about a condition found also in younger people that originates from craving that liberating retirement as a kind of hopeful salvation. But what do you do after your third cup of coffee, after the tenth documentary, etc.? For me, there is hardly anything better than having a meaningful activity throughout life. You just have to manage to separate your personal satisfaction from money; yet that rarely succeeds… the calculator keeps ticking in the background.
What surprises me is that the improvement of quality of life is often linked to new purchases or freedom from work, but rarely to changing one’s lifestyle toward having more time and needing less money.
@Bertram100 – you have my full agreement. There is a book where countless older people, or those awaiting death, were asked what they would do differently “next time.” It was exclusively interpersonal things, never a kitchen or car; material things were dismissed and looked back on with bittersweet irony.
Schimi1791 schrieb:
I know retirees who have built a new purpose in life in early retirement and are happier/more satisfied because of it. That happens and it’s great when someone takes a new direction they perhaps couldn’t pursue before. But from what I see among my peers, that seems to be the exception rather than the rule; I hear more complaining than anything else.
Schimi179130 Sep 2021 10:13pagoni2020 schrieb:
...
But what do you do after the third cup of coffee, after the tenth documentary, etc.?
...Then these people have (yet) to find a fulfilling purpose in life and may never find one.pagoni2020 schrieb:
...
However, this does not seem to be the rule when I look around at people my age; I hear a lot of complaints instead.See above. Of course, spending every day of retirement with one’s spouse can also be challenging.
All in all: if someone (m/f/d) finds their purpose in life in leaving regular employment as late as possible, they are free to do so. However, there are certainly plenty of workers who (would) pursue other goals they see as more meaningful. Quite a few employers support this.
There are also many who simply do not know what to do with their time and energy.
Schimi1791 schrieb:
One could also consider, for example, early retirement.Sorry, but that really sounds like a typical men’s comment straight from the textbook. The original poster managed not only to avoid the “mom trap” after parental leave but also to continue building her career—even in self-chosen part-time hours. Now that’s what I call a hat trick. A jackpot with a bonus number; Hans Rosenthal would do his “Great!” jump 🙂https://www.instagram.com/11antgmxde/
https://www.linkedin.com/company/bauen-jetzt/
Schimi179130 Sep 2021 11:3811ant schrieb:
Sorry, but that is really a typical male comment from the textbook. The original poster managed not only to avoid the “mom trap” after her parental leave but also to continue her career, and in self-chosen part-time work at that. I’d call that a hat trick. A jackpot, Hans Rosenthal would have jumped with his “Great!” 🙂One (hat trick) does not exclude the other (early retirement). Who knows how one will think about life purpose in 20 or 30 years?By the way, my wife also achieved the hat trick, and I shouted/jumped “Great!” ... 🙂
11ant schrieb:
Sorry, but that is really a classic male comment. The original poster managed not only to avoid the "mom trap" after her parental leave, but also to continue her career, and on self-chosen part-time hours at that. I’d call that a hat trick. A jackpot with a bonus number—Hans Rosenthal would do his "Great!" jump 🙂 In general, early retirement is definitely a nice option for some people. At the moment, I’m probably still too young to seriously consider it. My plan is more to continue our current model of two part-time jobs over the long term. That would be a real benefit for me in 10-15 years (so in my mid-40s to 50s), with children who are more independent or even grown, to still work part-time. And to do that together with my partner. We’ll see if we can make it work or if having older children will put us under pressure.