Hello dear forum members,
I already posted a thread in 2017, and we are still deciding what to do.
Back then, we were considering building on my parents-in-law’s property. The existing barn would be demolished and replaced with a new building.
I have already checked with the local building authority, and both the demolition and the new construction would be approved with certain conditions (setbacks from the parents’ existing house and the neighboring building).
A plot subdivision (parcel division) would also need to be carried out.
My father-in-law would cover the demolition costs (I had a preliminary discussion with a prefabricated house company that dealt with a similar case, and the demolition there cost around 30,000 euros, including connections).
Currently, there are three other interesting plots available, each about 750 m² (8,070 ft²), which would have to be developed within three years. These plots are serviced and cost approximately 39,000 to 40,000 euros each.
I feel very conflicted because I think there would never be full privacy there.
Additionally, my parents are against us building there, as they say that in the event of a breakup (whether we marry beforehand or not), I would be left responsible. Then my partner would have to pay the mortgage alone and buy me out. There is not much equity from either side (about 25,000 to 30,000 euros each).
What would you advise me as a neutral party?
I already posted a thread in 2017, and we are still deciding what to do.
Back then, we were considering building on my parents-in-law’s property. The existing barn would be demolished and replaced with a new building.
I have already checked with the local building authority, and both the demolition and the new construction would be approved with certain conditions (setbacks from the parents’ existing house and the neighboring building).
A plot subdivision (parcel division) would also need to be carried out.
My father-in-law would cover the demolition costs (I had a preliminary discussion with a prefabricated house company that dealt with a similar case, and the demolition there cost around 30,000 euros, including connections).
Currently, there are three other interesting plots available, each about 750 m² (8,070 ft²), which would have to be developed within three years. These plots are serviced and cost approximately 39,000 to 40,000 euros each.
I feel very conflicted because I think there would never be full privacy there.
Additionally, my parents are against us building there, as they say that in the event of a breakup (whether we marry beforehand or not), I would be left responsible. Then my partner would have to pay the mortgage alone and buy me out. There is not much equity from either side (about 25,000 to 30,000 euros each).
What would you advise me as a neutral party?
Hello!
I’m new here and have mostly been quietly reading over the past few weeks, as we are still at the very beginning of our building plans. However, on this topic, I can definitely share my experience.
From my own experience, I would clearly say: "No, don’t do it!"
Seven years ago, my husband and I converted the attic of my parents’ house. In our case, the property is divided according to condominium ownership (WEG). Everyone has their own apartment, while the cellar, garden, and garage are shared communal areas. Both of our names are on the land registry.
And no, we definitely wouldn’t do it again. You are never truly alone, always have to coordinate with others, and cannot make decisions independently. We didn’t really have any issues or conflicts, but it does feel too close for comfort, and we notice that more and more.
I don’t want to go into too much detail here, but my husband and I have now decided to build a house ourselves and are currently looking for land. Since we have two school-aged children and want to avoid changing their schools, the whole process is quite challenging.
Our current apartment will be taken over by my parents after we move out and will be rented within the family.
My husband’s father has a very large garden and even offered us the option to build there. However, for us, this is not an option. We want something of our own, with some distance from the rest of the family.
If you already have doubts, listen to your gut feeling!
Best regards
I’m new here and have mostly been quietly reading over the past few weeks, as we are still at the very beginning of our building plans. However, on this topic, I can definitely share my experience.
From my own experience, I would clearly say: "No, don’t do it!"
Seven years ago, my husband and I converted the attic of my parents’ house. In our case, the property is divided according to condominium ownership (WEG). Everyone has their own apartment, while the cellar, garden, and garage are shared communal areas. Both of our names are on the land registry.
And no, we definitely wouldn’t do it again. You are never truly alone, always have to coordinate with others, and cannot make decisions independently. We didn’t really have any issues or conflicts, but it does feel too close for comfort, and we notice that more and more.
I don’t want to go into too much detail here, but my husband and I have now decided to build a house ourselves and are currently looking for land. Since we have two school-aged children and want to avoid changing their schools, the whole process is quite challenging.
Our current apartment will be taken over by my parents after we move out and will be rented within the family.
My husband’s father has a very large garden and even offered us the option to build there. However, for us, this is not an option. We want something of our own, with some distance from the rest of the family.
If you already have doubts, listen to your gut feeling!
Best regards
L
lisa-kessler8 Jun 2020 15:51PyneBite schrieb:
Are you paying from personal funds, or do you need to take out a loan? In general, a 50/50 split is not a bad idea, but I don’t know your situation.We can pay for the land without a loan.lisa-kessler schrieb:
We can pay for the plot without a loan.Once you have collectively saved the equity, there is nothing preventing a 50/50 ownership registration.
How badly you could be left out after a separation does not depend on whether the land was bought on the open market or given as a gift by the parents-in-law. In any case, it should no longer be considered "their" land if you are building on it – see our pianist thread: https://www.hausbau-forum.de/threads/Haus-auf-Grundstück-der-Eltern-Erbschaftsprobleme.33972/ – but I see the bigger issue here as the potential interference from others nearby, who, perhaps unknowingly, end up "buying into" your relationship and the upbringing of their grandchildren.
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Dali2020 schrieb:
Hello!
I’m new here and have been mostly reading quietly over the past few weeks since we are still at the very beginning of our building plans. However, I can definitely relate to this topic.
From my own experience, I would clearly say: "No, don’t do it!"
Seven years ago, my husband and I converted the attic in my parents’ house. Our situation is that the house was divided according to condominium ownership (HOA). Everyone has their own apartment, while the basement, garden, and garage are shared. We are both listed on the property deed.
And no, we definitely wouldn’t do it again.
You are never alone, always have to coordinate, and don’t make decisions on your own. We didn’t have any major problems or conflicts, but it has become too close for comfort, and we notice that more and more.
I don’t want to say too much more about this now, but my husband and I have decided to build a house ourselves and are currently looking for land. However, since we have two school-age children and want to avoid changing schools, the whole process is quite challenging.
Our apartment will be taken over by my parents after we move out and will be rented within the family.
My husband’s father has a very large garden and even offered us a space to build there. But that’s not an option for us. We want something of our own, with some distance from the rest of the family.
If you’re already having doubts, trust your gut feeling!
Best regards Without meaning to be rude, I think it’s a bit like comparing apples and oranges.
Building close to your parents is one thing, living under the same roof with them is another.
Apartment and single-family house
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