L
lisa-kessler8 Jun 2020 08:04Hello dear forum members,
I already posted a thread in 2017, and we are still deciding what to do.
Back then, we were considering building on my parents-in-law’s property. The existing barn would be demolished and replaced with a new building.
I have already checked with the local building authority, and both the demolition and the new construction would be approved with certain conditions (setbacks from the parents’ existing house and the neighboring building).
A plot subdivision (parcel division) would also need to be carried out.
My father-in-law would cover the demolition costs (I had a preliminary discussion with a prefabricated house company that dealt with a similar case, and the demolition there cost around 30,000 euros, including connections).
Currently, there are three other interesting plots available, each about 750 m² (8,070 ft²), which would have to be developed within three years. These plots are serviced and cost approximately 39,000 to 40,000 euros each.
I feel very conflicted because I think there would never be full privacy there.
Additionally, my parents are against us building there, as they say that in the event of a breakup (whether we marry beforehand or not), I would be left responsible. Then my partner would have to pay the mortgage alone and buy me out. There is not much equity from either side (about 25,000 to 30,000 euros each).
What would you advise me as a neutral party?
I already posted a thread in 2017, and we are still deciding what to do.
Back then, we were considering building on my parents-in-law’s property. The existing barn would be demolished and replaced with a new building.
I have already checked with the local building authority, and both the demolition and the new construction would be approved with certain conditions (setbacks from the parents’ existing house and the neighboring building).
A plot subdivision (parcel division) would also need to be carried out.
My father-in-law would cover the demolition costs (I had a preliminary discussion with a prefabricated house company that dealt with a similar case, and the demolition there cost around 30,000 euros, including connections).
Currently, there are three other interesting plots available, each about 750 m² (8,070 ft²), which would have to be developed within three years. These plots are serviced and cost approximately 39,000 to 40,000 euros each.
I feel very conflicted because I think there would never be full privacy there.
Additionally, my parents are against us building there, as they say that in the event of a breakup (whether we marry beforehand or not), I would be left responsible. Then my partner would have to pay the mortgage alone and buy me out. There is not much equity from either side (about 25,000 to 30,000 euros each).
What would you advise me as a neutral party?
J
JoachimG.8 Jun 2020 08:19I know several cases like this among my acquaintances. Summary: Don’t do it. Buy a property of your own on “neutral” land.
In every case, there were problems. Whether it was separation (buyout, low resale value in case of doubt), access, privacy, etc. it might work out, but it can also go seriously wrong.
If you can afford it – don’t do it.
In every case, there were problems. Whether it was separation (buyout, low resale value in case of doubt), access, privacy, etc. it might work out, but it can also go seriously wrong.
If you can afford it – don’t do it.
N
nordanney8 Jun 2020 08:20lisa-kessler schrieb:
In addition, my parents are against us building there because they say that in case of a separation (whether we marry beforehand or not), I would be left with the situation. Then my partner would have to continue paying the mortgage alone and buy me out. Why? What will the ownership situation be? What arrangements are made in advance for such cases? How would he buy you out if there isn’t much equity in the house and the bank is financing it?
lisa-kessler schrieb:
There is not much equity from either side (about 25,000–30,000 Euro each). That would argue against purchasing an additional plot of land if the parents-in-law provide the land. Then your equity can be used for building the house instead of just buying the land.
lisa-kessler schrieb:
What would you advise me as a neutral party? I would personally never want to live that close to my parents or parents-in-law. For me, that would be a deal-breaker. Being close by is fine, but within calling distance is not.
But that is just my personal view, no matter how well you get along.
Hello,
Regarding this question, many people would probably say how well it can work out and so on.
However, there are so many factors that can cause stress, especially when thinking about children or grandchildren who are not even imagined yet.
It doesn’t have to happen, but it can.
The same applies to separation.
In your case, if the alternative costs "only" 40,000 euros and the plots are good, I would prefer to look for something on my own.
If the price per square meter is 300 euros or more, I can understand that this issue is much more painful.
Regarding this question, many people would probably say how well it can work out and so on.
However, there are so many factors that can cause stress, especially when thinking about children or grandchildren who are not even imagined yet.
It doesn’t have to happen, but it can.
The same applies to separation.
In your case, if the alternative costs "only" 40,000 euros and the plots are good, I would prefer to look for something on my own.
If the price per square meter is 300 euros or more, I can understand that this issue is much more painful.
L
lisa-kessler8 Jun 2020 08:28Thank you for all the opinions so far; they are quite clear and also reflect my own personal view by now.
Just to make sure I understand: You currently have two options, right? Either building with your parents-in-law or buying another plot of land—of which only three remain available—separate from your parents-in-law?
I think you need to consider how well you get along with your parents-in-law now and in the future. Your husband should also answer this question for his parents. Just because there are opinions here from people who would never—ever—do that doesn’t mean it’s not a possibility for you. However, your question here suggests you have doubts, so… your call!
I think you need to consider how well you get along with your parents-in-law now and in the future. Your husband should also answer this question for his parents. Just because there are opinions here from people who would never—ever—do that doesn’t mean it’s not a possibility for you. However, your question here suggests you have doubts, so… your call!
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