ᐅ Building a House in Your “Old Home” Near Family or for Work?
Created on: 17 May 2018 12:01
N
Nina1987
Hello everyone,
Unfortunately, this has turned out to be quite a long text, and I apologize for that in advance. However, I would still be grateful if someone could respond and give me a tip or two.
My husband and I have finally found and purchased a plot of land after a long search, which we really like in terms of location and the entire new development area. We currently live in a semi-detached house in a very rural setting and feel comfortable. This new development is neither in a village nor in a big city. It’s a nice middle ground.
Originally, we both come from a small town/village area about 100 km (62 miles) away near Göttingen. Back then, we didn’t like it very much, so we moved to the city for work, where we felt very comfortable. However, thanks to our two sons, we moved back to a village near Hanover, so the city is still not far away.
Now here comes the tricky part. My husband’s brother has purchased a house in our old home region, and our nieces, parents, cousins, and friends also still live there. His wife is not very enthusiastic about the rural life and proximity to family. I have tried to explain to her how wonderful it can be to be close to family. I would love it and would enjoy it if the cousins could play together and grow up alongside each other.
Our job prospects in this region might get a little worse—emphasize might—, but it’s not certain. I, who originally never wanted to move back to this region, am now getting cold feet with the new plot and am wondering if it might be more sensible to go back to the old home area. This is a bit late to be reconsidering since the plot is already bought (notarized) and the construction contract has been signed for 1.5 months.
Does anyone here have any advice on my thoughts? Should we simply take the step to move back to the old home region, or is it generally impossible to get out of everything once the contract is signed? Could the construction contract be transferred to a new plot in the home region to build a house there?
How did you decide on your permanent residence? What criteria did you set for yourselves?
Unfortunately, this has turned out to be quite a long text, and I apologize for that in advance. However, I would still be grateful if someone could respond and give me a tip or two.
My husband and I have finally found and purchased a plot of land after a long search, which we really like in terms of location and the entire new development area. We currently live in a semi-detached house in a very rural setting and feel comfortable. This new development is neither in a village nor in a big city. It’s a nice middle ground.
Originally, we both come from a small town/village area about 100 km (62 miles) away near Göttingen. Back then, we didn’t like it very much, so we moved to the city for work, where we felt very comfortable. However, thanks to our two sons, we moved back to a village near Hanover, so the city is still not far away.
Now here comes the tricky part. My husband’s brother has purchased a house in our old home region, and our nieces, parents, cousins, and friends also still live there. His wife is not very enthusiastic about the rural life and proximity to family. I have tried to explain to her how wonderful it can be to be close to family. I would love it and would enjoy it if the cousins could play together and grow up alongside each other.
Our job prospects in this region might get a little worse—emphasize might—, but it’s not certain. I, who originally never wanted to move back to this region, am now getting cold feet with the new plot and am wondering if it might be more sensible to go back to the old home area. This is a bit late to be reconsidering since the plot is already bought (notarized) and the construction contract has been signed for 1.5 months.
Does anyone here have any advice on my thoughts? Should we simply take the step to move back to the old home region, or is it generally impossible to get out of everything once the contract is signed? Could the construction contract be transferred to a new plot in the home region to build a house there?
How did you decide on your permanent residence? What criteria did you set for yourselves?
My thoughts align more with @chand1986 and @Curly.
You felt comfortable and based on that did not question anything. Now, due to family structures and conversations, the idea of a perfect family idyll arises—everyone could share a play lawn together. That confuses you. But is that really the case? Are cousins or in-laws better than some friendships, including those from daycare or school, or even in the local area? Isn’t there often an element of obligation, where people would actually prefer to choose their own contacts and friendships?
Reflect on what is necessary and what is desirable in life. What is actual, and what is wished for? What is fixed, and what exists mainly in the mind?
chand also made very good points about the job, expressed in concise words!
You felt comfortable and based on that did not question anything. Now, due to family structures and conversations, the idea of a perfect family idyll arises—everyone could share a play lawn together. That confuses you. But is that really the case? Are cousins or in-laws better than some friendships, including those from daycare or school, or even in the local area? Isn’t there often an element of obligation, where people would actually prefer to choose their own contacts and friendships?
Reflect on what is necessary and what is desirable in life. What is actual, and what is wished for? What is fixed, and what exists mainly in the mind?
chand also made very good points about the job, expressed in concise words!
H
HilfeHilfe18 May 2018 11:52Well, occasionally I see grandparents picking up the kids and babysitting, but unfortunately not in our case!
So I wouldn’t count on that.
So I wouldn’t count on that.