ᐅ Building a House at 21 Years Old... Too Young?

Joedreck schrieb:

Yes, all of that is still possible. As long as the monthly expenses are manageable, everything can work. If you want that.

But I am not referring to finances again. There are professions where you can’t simply take a break for six months. Engaging in extreme sports or pushing your own limits requires a huge investment of time.
Professional training courses, which take place over several years in distant locations...
I can’t cover every possible situation or scenario from my imagination, since I myself was mostly stationary in one place. But sometimes I think that if I had “moved more” (had to), I might have gained more in my life, for example I missed out on college life and its social aspects; instead, my apprenticeship was educational but very sheltered. Also, my current job (public service) hardly offers any opportunities to travel around the country. Well. Not everyone may need that, but do you know how you’ll feel about it later? The phrase “having achieved everything by 40” is not coincidental when it comes to the male midlife crisis. At least, that difficult phase occurred in generations who settled professionally and family-wise at age 20, but later wanted to enjoy what I would call the new era (internet, booming economy, salary increases, sexual freedom, independence, education, etc.).
In my opinion, everything is shifting a bit later nowadays, especially since we live longer than previous generations, so the phases of “physical” opportunities should be used. As I said...
Of course this is just my opinion, and I respect other views and attitudes. But I also have the right to express my concerns in a discussion.

ypg schrieb:

But I am definitely NOT referring to financial matters again. There are professions where you simply can’t take a break for half a year. Engaging in extreme sports or testing your own limits requires a huge time investment.
Professional training courses that take place over several years at distant locations...
I can’t cover all possibilities or situations with my examples since I myself remained stationary in one place. But sometimes I think that if I had “moved more” (or had to), I might have experienced more in life—for example, I missed out on university time and its social aspects. Instead, my apprenticeship was educational but very sheltered. Even my workplace (public service) offers me hardly any opportunities to move around the country. Well. Not everyone may need that, but who knows how you’ll think about it later? The so-called “midlife crisis at 40 with everything achieved” among men is no coincidence. At least that difficult phase existed for generations who settled down with career and family in their twenties but later wanted to enjoy the so-called new era (Internet, booming economy, salary increases, sexual freedom, independence, education, etc.).
My opinion is: nowadays, everything is shifting a bit later, and above all, we live longer than previous generations, so we should make the most of the phases of “physical” capability. As I said already...
Of course, it’s just my opinion; I respect other views and attitudes. But I also have the right to express my concerns in a discussion.

I completely agree! Well argued.

I see a very big problem that the pressure (especially in Germany) is extremely high. Nobody is satisfied anymore and always wants more (especially regarding job and career). It’s no longer something special to have two wonderful children at home at age 40, a home you own, and a secure job. That was the moment when the generation before us leaned back and just enjoyed life because they didn’t really have the option to think differently.

I must say I definitely don’t envy us in the year 2020 and personally hope that I can be much more content than most people are nowadays.

This is also the reason why relationships don’t last 30 years anymore... There’s too much pressure and external influence from society, social media, and so on... It’s really a shame.

It fits well. If we’re growing up like this from early childhood... just wait and see what will happen to our children in 20 years xD

daniel400 schrieb:

I get the impression that some forum members aren’t really happy for me here. All I hear are comments along the lines of "You’re too young, too inexperienced to build a house." It’s a pity, really!

I’m not sure if that’s really the case. I think some older members might just be trying to point out possible scenarios, which I find reasonable and constructive. If there is actually a jealous person among them, then you’ve already earned that badge.

You have a plan and you’re currently putting it into action; that already sets you apart from the mainstream, since at your age many people don’t have a clear idea of what they want or should do. I was 30 when I built my first house and had no plan at all… lots of luck but also some bad breaks… that’s life.

No one can judge whether your path is right or wrong because none of us even know for sure if our own plan is the right one… and what’s right or wrong can change quite frequently in one’s life.

@exto1791 described it quite well.
You meet world travelers who are incredibly conventional and a cosmopolitan who prefers to sweep the street in front of his terraced house several times a week; as long as a so-called "conventional person" doesn’t bother anyone and enjoys their life, they are less conventional than the one who complains about them.

In general, I don’t like categorizing people, so to me your approach to building a house is just as right or wrong as mine—with 40 years more life experience. I also believe that age alone isn’t a particularly remarkable achievement.

All the often-cited phrases like "letting loose," "living life to the fullest" suggest to me that you can follow a plan. There are billions of reasons why your life will be one way or another, and as long as you do what you decide and take responsibility for, you are doing the right thing for yourself. Changes can be just as diverse and cannot be compensated for solely by material things; they’re also only very limitedly predictable.

For example, with the often-discussed topic of divorce, the financial aspects are usually calculated, but the truly deep damage mostly happens elsewhere, where it can’t be foreseen or measured.

I wouldn’t know whether to advise my children, who are about 10 years older than you, for or against building a house. I wouldn’t do either because I have no idea what will be "better" for their lives.

Still, you should take the critical voices seriously and reflect on them, since they’re usually based on real events; praise is not always the best advice. Whether and what advice you then take and apply to your situation is another matter.

You have made your decision, so enjoy it!

You asked your question in this forum to receive feedback. This has nothing to do with generosity. None of us know you personally.
When you ask a question, you have to expect appropriate feedback, which you alone must process and reflect on.
Don’t underestimate the changes you go through between your 20s and mid-30s, but if this is your dream, then go for it. You learn from mistakes, after all. This is not meant to imply that it is a mistake. Personally, I think you are too young. You should start building assets at a young age. A home you live in yourself is not part of that.
One more note:
The first house you build is for your enemies, the second for your friends, and the third for yourself.

Everyone has their own experiences, which of course are not universally applicable. My experience in my environment was that people tend to start living together at a young age. I was already in a relationship at 24. At that time, I consciously decided against buying a house.

Now please show the house instead—that's what this is really about.

exto1791 schrieb:

Many people only finish their studies by age 27 (well... I wonder if that’s really that great and whether by then they’ve truly lived life). Many are still drinking heavily every day at 30 and wondering where the next party is. I see this in my circle... In fact, 90% simply aren’t mature enough for a house. There are couples who have been together for 8 years, are in their early 30s, and their future plans, as well as what they’ve experienced together so far, don’t even come close to a fraction of what we already went through in our early 20s.

That’s exactly why it makes so little sense to compare yourself to others. You never really know what’s going on beneath the surface with other people. I also know couples who have been together 8 to 10 years and get married just to fix their problems. Hopefully, a child won’t show up soon to fix the problems that the marriage added... Well, not my concern. I also know plenty of people in their 30s and 40s for whom “partying” is the holy grail. Who knows what reality they’re trying to escape through the booze? I don’t know—I’m just grateful that I’m spared from that.