ᐅ Wooden Privacy Fence – Overplanning? Alternatives?

Scout schrieb:

Here is the thread and another possible solution
ᐅ Good soundproofing elements near the property line – recommendations? Page 2 | Experiences from homeowners and building experts (hausbau-forum.de)

I know that one, it’s my thread as well. :/
I seem to have bad luck with neighbors. No one else in the whole neighborhood plays loud music outdoors in open areas—only our neighbors do. If only I had that kind of luck in a lottery, the problem would be solved.

Otherwise, they are really nice people, but they love barbecuing shirtless with loud music, while we prefer peace and quiet. I already contacted them again today because we wanted to watch something on TV, and the subwoofer in the garden was still booming even though everyone was already inside. So, aside from the music, there was no one outside. :/
As far as I know, listening to music in the garden is not prohibited (within certain limits), so I have to try to make it bearable on my side of the property. Moving out is not an option right now. It’s our own property, newly built, and reversing things with government housing subsidies and other paperwork would be way too much effort.

I have already thought about ear protection, which wouldn’t be a problem in principle, but it usually bothers us when we want to watch TV or be outside. We want to talk to each other and not all sit at the table wearing noise-cancelling headphones. :/

I believe the real solution lies with the neighbor.
Of course, everyone can do as they please, as long as they don’t disturb others. However, that is exactly the case here.
The neighbors simply shouldn’t listen to music on the terrace; there is no fundamental right to do so.
If it happens once a week or occasionally during visits and/or barbecues, that’s one thing, but constant noise shouldn’t have to be tolerated, as you have rights as well.
The problem, as always, is making the other person understand this, as laws or measurements won’t help you here.
You feel uncomfortable, and I would definitely suggest expressing this politely but clearly, asking them not to play music continuously on the terrace.
You could even offer to provide some headphones so they can listen to music without disturbing others.

They do turn it down when I ask them (at least just now, when they were no longer in the garden anyway), but I don’t want to be the nagging neighbor who complains every week.

It’s just that it clashes with those nice days when the sun comes out, and those are exactly the days we like to sit outside ourselves. And I don’t know how to make someone understand that music tastes differ and what relaxes one person can be stressful for another. How do you explain that to someone who doesn’t seem naturally willing to understand?

I vaguely remember a story from when they were still renting, where there were already conflicts with “particular neighbors,” even involving police visits due to loud music. I wasn’t there and don’t know how loud it actually was, but if I keep complaining about the music in their garden, I’ll be the next “particular neighbor,” and that’s not really how I want to be seen. They’re usually very nice to us, helping us with installing drainage pipes and all sorts of things… they’re genuinely good people.

I don’t know how to express it… I think the difference is just in how we each perceive what’s “disturbing.” Do you know what I mean?

I also often get the advice to play Rammstein in return sound, for the “learning effect.” I doubt that would help because I don’t think it would bother them at all.

The most pragmatic solution I can think of (besides “talking to them again the next time we see each other”) is to build some sort of wall on my property line. Like Scout said, something solid. Wood probably won’t help. Maybe bricks or calcium silicate blocks?

Legally, I can’t make it as high as I want—I can’t build a fortress wall. It will still bother me from upstairs in the bathroom (I wanted to take a bath earlier, but I can’t relax when the bass is blasting in from outside)… but maybe a 1.80-meter (6 feet) high masonry wall would at least quiet the garden a bit? Could that work?

pagoni2020 schrieb:

Neighbors simply don’t have the right to play music on the terrace.

There is no ban against it, as long as the volume stays at room level and it’s outside of quiet hours.

pagoni2020 schrieb:

You could offer to provide them with some headphones so they can listen to music.

I would respond to such audacity by banning them from the property.

kati1337 schrieb:

I keep getting the advice to just play Rammstein at the same time for counter-noise, for the "learning effect."

I don’t think such a passive-aggressive reaction triggers any learning effect. At best, it escalates the situation.

kati1337 schrieb:

I don’t know how to express myself... ic

Since the relationship seems to be quite good, address it openly. You have already asked multiple times in the past to lower the volume. In fact, it bothers you much more often than just those times you mentioned. You want to find a permanent solution. Unless giving up the music or significantly reducing the volume is an option, only a soundproof wall would be a viable solution.

guckuck2 schrieb:

There is basically no prohibition against it, as long as it is noise at room volume outside of quiet hours.

Of course, there is no ban on that, but there is an expectation that you should be able to feel comfortable on your own property.
You can measure this back and forth endlessly or consider it overly sensitive on one hand or rough on the other. The only option is interpersonal communication or escalation.
I’ll put it this way: I used to listen very loudly to "The Four Seasons" every Sunday morning with the patio door wide open. But I knew my neighbor actually liked it; earlier it was more ZZ TOP, which was different :-)
However, if my neighbor had told me she was very sensitive to noise, I would have stopped and been more considerate in general. Because... you always meet again, two or more times in life...
If my neighbor had just built a big wall for herself, I would have been surprised... maybe @kati1337’s neighbor would even be annoyed about that... who knows.
There is no textbook solution in such cases, but the heavy-handed approach rarely leads to a good outcome, especially if you yourself could never be as rough as what someone else might consider normal.
You are in conversation, which is already a positive first step.
Maybe you should clearly and directly raise your very individual issue in a calm meeting, but without blaming them in any way—just explain it based on your high sensitivity and tell them that you have even considered building a tall fence because it really affects you negatively. As long as you take responsibility on your side, they may not feel attacked and might even help you... maybe they’re just not aware of it, so you have to state it clearly as it is.
Perhaps you could also ask whether there is something you could do in return for them, something you’d be happy to do... I would try approaching it in that direction.

guckuck2 schrieb:

I would respond to this kind of cheekiness with a ban from the house.

Well… of course, within a rather humorous conversation… and obviously not seriously meant.

guckuck2 schrieb:

I don’t think that kind of passive-aggressive reaction leads to any learning effect. At best, it escalates things.

Exactly... plus you have to actually want to do it.
In the end, no one knows the perfect solution or the best way. But they can only understand it if you make it very clear to them without any detours… and always WITHOUT blame, but because of your sensitive ears...
Still difficult... I understand that.