Last night we visited friends, and of course, during the evening conversations over red wine, the topic eventually turned to our upcoming house construction (specifically the building of our prefabricated house in September). Our friends built their house back in 2015/2016 and already warned us about how stressful the construction phase can be for a relationship or marriage. They shared numerous examples from their new housing development, where tensions between partners remained quite high for a long time, dampening the enjoyment of the new home. For instance, one couple still hasn’t agreed on what kind of paving to have in front of their house, so nothing has been done yet, and the area is still just covered in gravel. For others, the design of the terrace seems to be dispute number one... I’d rather not know what else causes arguments inside the house.
Our prefabricated house sales consultant mentioned that even during the two-day selection appointment, there have been loud arguments, and he had to act as an unintentional mediator.
My wife tends to stay in the background and leaves many planning decisions up to me. However, when it comes to shapes, color schemes, and so on, she can be very assertive. We agree on the general aspects, but of course, we haven’t discussed all the finer details inside and outside yet.
So my question is: how have you handled disagreements?
Does one of you give in?
Do you negotiate a compromise?
Do you balance things out elsewhere?
Do you leave it to chance?
I would be pleased to read a bit about this delicate topic, which is rarely discussed openly... after all, we’re among friends here.
Our prefabricated house sales consultant mentioned that even during the two-day selection appointment, there have been loud arguments, and he had to act as an unintentional mediator.
My wife tends to stay in the background and leaves many planning decisions up to me. However, when it comes to shapes, color schemes, and so on, she can be very assertive. We agree on the general aspects, but of course, we haven’t discussed all the finer details inside and outside yet.
So my question is: how have you handled disagreements?
Does one of you give in?
Do you negotiate a compromise?
Do you balance things out elsewhere?
Do you leave it to chance?
I would be pleased to read a bit about this delicate topic, which is rarely discussed openly... after all, we’re among friends here.
H
HilfeHilfe19 May 2019 06:24Kekse schrieb:
I’ve also noticed that many people handle this as if it’s obvious, often with a tax class split like V/III. It’s really unwise to just agree to that without thinking.
I don’t care who keeps separate accounts or combines them, but if you separate them, do it properly – fairly dividing any tax refunds or additional payments is anything but simple.
We moved through stages like a “joint household account” and then a “joint main account plus a personal allowance account for each” to finally having just one joint account, but we maintain detailed budget planning and each has their own private allowance category within it. This works well for us. All money that comes in belongs to both of us, and we plan it together (of course, except for gifts explicitly given to one of us). Of course the husband has the 3 and the submissive wife with her account the 5!!
HilfeHilfe schrieb:
Of course, the man has 3 and the submissive woman has 5 with her account!! You seem to be holding onto a grudge quite deeply. That’s unfortunate.
H
HilfeHilfe19 May 2019 08:07Farilo schrieb:
You seem to be really upset about this. What a shame.No, everything’s fine, we have joint accounts.P
Pinkiponk24 Dec 2019 15:22ypg schrieb:
You really took full advantage of your husband’s color blindness. Disgusting I’m probably even "worse." I thought, oh, what a pity that my husband doesn’t have it.